scorpio95

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Scorpio95's favorite FMLs

Lock your doors

By jerrid - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a drunk man opened the unlocked door to my house thinking it was his house. He tried to attack me because he thought I was a burglar. FML

agreeclassic 34 266

vote type 1 7 825

By Sophie - 17/02/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, after recently having had surgery, I Iearnt that some extra tissue was needed to cover up the hole in the roof of my mouth. Where did they get this tissue? From a dead person. I now have the flesh of a dead person in my mouth, which by the way is now infected. FML

agreeclassic 43 966

vote type 1 3 746

By Marco - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, the bank I use lost 5 billion. FML

agreeclassic 81 219

vote type 1 12 109

Pissed

By TJ. - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - India

Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

agreeclassic 38 694

vote type 1 3 082

I'm not dead, I swear

By Arsinoe - 06/01/2010 00:02

Today, I found out that I have been declared dead by my credit card company in England because I haven't used it since I moved to Thailand last year. I will need three witnesses to convince them that I'm actually alive. FML

agreeclassic 33 007

vote type 1 2 629