Today, I was having a nice moment with my granddaughter as she was being affectionate by stroking my face. We were both quite content, until she said, "Aw, Grandma, your skin feels just like a crocodile." FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I made my niece cry when I told her that snakes are just tails with faces. She won't stop. FML
Today, I was talking to my grandmother, who was lying down on the couch under a blanket watching TV. As I was leaving, I said "See you later Nana," and patted her on the shoulder. Her shoulder was soft, and moved more than I expected. It was her boob. I felt up my grandma. FML
Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML
Today, I took my grandma to the hospital to visit her estranged husband who she hasn't seen in years. After a thoroughly disasterous visit, we're waiting in the carpark and my gran strokes my face and tells me I have a lot of facial hair. I thought she was going to thank me. And I'm a girl. FML
Today, I was with my four year-old daughter when we met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman I know. My daughter looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn’t your skin fit your face?" FML
Today, I visited my grandma. Shortly after I arrived, she freaked out after finding a "snake" in her closet. It was a rubber snake that my brother must have put there yesterday as a prank. I picked it up and told her it was fake. She then yelled at me for playing such a disgusting prank on her. FML
Today, I was swimming in a public pool, and I felt a tug on my swimming trunks. It was my grandma snorkeling. FML
Today, while visiting my grandparents, I was afraid that one of their many cats would pee on me. I was peed on all right, by my grandma. FML
Today, I noticed a picture in an elderly patient's room, of a pretty girl in a bikini. Trying to be funny and lighten the mood, I said, "Looks like you have some good eye candy to help you recover faster." With a stern look he replied, "That's my granddaughter." FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML
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Top comments
teiso_fml 0
Heheh, that's kind of cute! I wouldn't worry too much about it, she probably thinks you're part reptile, now, and therefore ten times cooler in her eyes. You should have told her that.
littlexlion 4
Woohoo! Granny on fml!
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Comments (103)
NorfolkDude 2
Even more concerning is how does she know what crocodile skin feels like?
clos14 0
awesome
dspadres 0
Lotion.
lahp 0
in that case when you erm "snuff it" can i make you into a pair of shoes
chowyuk 0
wow you lived threw two world wars and the great depression and this what you post on FML
Chunchunchun 3
2 world wars and the great depression? I know a grandma who's 53...
zanyone 0
that isn't something to complain about. be happy your grandchild has the intelligence to be able to compare and contrast.
Trippyfalla 0
OMFG old person that can use the interwebs?!!!!! you reptilr woman, win
kscozz 2
ahahahahahahahha!! FYL!! but good 4 u on learning how 2 use the internet!!!
kscozz 2
scateice 0
damn your old! :O no offense-.- And how do we know the kid is 5 and under??