Miscellaneous: Today, I was swimming in a public pool, and I felt a tug on my...

By Nick

Today, I was swimming in a public pool, and I felt a tug on my swimming trunks. It was my grandma snorkeling. FML

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12667

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Miscellaneous

Taking stock

Thanks for the support

Casual something

By RyloGhyst - United States - Killeen

Today, after putting the same load of laundry through the wash four times, I was wondering why my clothes kept smelling worse and worse. Turns out, my cat learned how to open and pee in the detergent funnel. FML

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8402

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839

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Today, I organized a party at my place, invited 20 people, bought snacks and cancelled my workout. Nobody showed up. I ended up eating a whole ciabatta alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2516

You deserved it

225

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By twintowers - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

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50243

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By öKANEö - United States - San Marcos

Today, during class, a student began arguing with my Algebra II teacher about whether or not water is wet. The student became so frustrated he threw a stapler across the room. Guess who got hit in the head and is currently bleeding pints in the nurse's office. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4708

You deserved it

247

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By Anonymous - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47842

You deserved it

8005

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By Stalked - Czech Republic - Brno

Today, I found a love letter in my mail. It was from a girl I met at a bar few weeks ago. I never gave her my address or last name. I guess I have a stalker now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15023

You deserved it

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By arthise - United States - Evansville

Today, my boyfriend won a diamond engagement ring through a citywide competition. Instead of proposing to me, he's selling it. FML

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49920

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Today, has been a very long day, so I shall simply say there is a car in my bedroom. Yes a car. It's entirely my husband's fault, we have no idea how we're supposed to remove it, and there's oil all down my favourite pyjamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2525

Phew, glad it wasn't me

303

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34344

You deserved it

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By Alwayshappens2me - United States

Today, I learned that even when you put a sock on the door because you are having sex with your boyfriend, doesn't mean your mom won't walk in your brand new apartment for a "surprise visit." FML

I agree, your life sucks

42225

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By Anonymous - United States - Hartford

Today, my girlfriend started bitching me out about how public proposals are unfair and how they pressure a girl to say yes. All I did was get on my knee to tie a loose shoelace. FML

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39943

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3349

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, the closest I got to a vacation was the smell of my new towels, because they remind me of a hotel. FML

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20663

You deserved it

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By Rob - United States - Neoga

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16705

You deserved it

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By Naulwenn - France - Groslay

Today, my divorced parents have started sending each other photos of both of my bedrooms, to, “compare the shambles and see who wins.“ FML

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12757

You deserved it

2347

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By heartless - Canada

Today, I realised that my glade plug-in air freshner lasts longer than any of my relationships have. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53038

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States - Cabin John

Today, I got home from work to find my boyfriend sobbing hysterically over the death of his cat. The only cat he could be talking about is the one on his Sims account. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29119

You deserved it

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By CharlieKearney - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, the guy I made out with on New Year's Eve finally called me. Too bad it was to blame me for the picture of us which someone had sent to his girlfriend. I never took a picture, and had no idea he was in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22048

You deserved it

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By kinky - United States

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33539

You deserved it

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By RIP iPhone - United States

Today, I was using my flashlight app in the driveway to avoid stepping in puddles, as my new shoes are untreated suede. I dropped my phone in the puddle instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6480

You deserved it

1995

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By karina17 - Canada

Today, my dad was supposed to come see me for our twice-a-year visit. He was 3 hours late. So I called, and asked him why he was late - he said 'Oh, something came up'. I asked him what was so important. Apparently, the garage needed cleaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34258

You deserved it

2302

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By mentallyscarred - United States

Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33991

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By unfriendlyskies - United States - Central Falls

Today, I called an airline's customer service line. Apparently the way that they deal with uncommon problems is by having someone put you on hold for twenty minutes, answer and yell something unintelligible at you, put you back on hold, and repeat. This went on for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22197

You deserved it

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Special wedding

Today, on my wedding day, when they said "you may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately my hands were sweaty as I was nervous and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2130

You deserved it

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By Sheezey - United States

Today, I went to the gym and worked out with a trainer. While doing arm exercises he commented on how impressed he was with the size of my triceps. That really boosted my self-confidence, until he leaned in to feel them and said, "Oh, it's just fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks

46244

You deserved it

6746

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By fish killer - Canada

Today, I bought a fish. I put the tank on top of the fridge so my cat wouldn't get at it. I'd forgotten to buy some things for its tank, so I quickly ran out to get them. When I got home, I saw the tank destroyed on the floor, and my cat devouring my fish. I had the fish for less than an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19209

You deserved it

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By JackNicholsonInChinatown

Today, like most days, my cat tried to wake me up with a gentle, fluffy paw pat on my nose. This morning, however, he managed to get his claw caught inside my nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9459

You deserved it

860

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By Checkless chick - United States

Today, I decided I would try this feature on my banking app which lets me deposit checks by sending a picture of it. The instructions say to rip the check after depositing. The deposit didn't work and now I've got a ripped up paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27076

You deserved it

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By Champs - Australia

Today, I downloaded the 'Dark was the Night' compilation made for charity. I have no soul. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6129

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I was playing Draw Something with my girlfriend, when I decided to start a game with some other people. She immediately accused me of "cheating" on her, and still refuses to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40077

You deserved it

4959

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By bluecollar - United States

Today, there was a luncheon at work in another dept. We all went to get some free food and see new faces. There was a hot girl walking around chatting. I grabbed my buddy's arm and told him there was a "nice pair of tits here" He saw her. It's his daughter. She's a new-hire... running HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14905

You deserved it

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By FreshFaced - United Kingdom

Today, I went into work for the first time without make-up. My boss thought I looked so tired and ill that he sent me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40893

You deserved it

8031

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By hotpatata - United States

Today, I sneezed my jaw out of socket. Yes, this is possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33973

You deserved it

2224

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By Moron with reflexes

Today, I thought I felt a spider crawling by my eye. Having a huge fear of spiders, like an idiot, I lamped myself in square in the eye. I now have a partial black eye because of what turned out to be a feather. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1156

You deserved it

923

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By jessica071509 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50214

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33218

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States - Floral Park

Today, my self-described "genius" cousin came to the conclusion that cooking the turkey in the oven for 8 hours would take too long, so he doubled the temperature to have it done in half the time. The fire department had to come to put out the fireball that was once my butterball. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2949

You deserved it

223

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By Brendan - Canada

Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28873

You deserved it

4124

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By thanksmom - United States - Tucson

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33527

You deserved it

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By Garry - United Kingdom

Today, I realised that my staff doesn't take me seriously. I walked in on my chef, who had just spent an hour and half a block of cheese carving cheddar goggles for himself. When I confronted him, he pulled up his t-shirt to reveal a cocktail sausage taped to his stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23890

You deserved it

5720

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By okaythen - United States - Euless

Today, I asked out this girl at work who I've had a crush on for a while. She looked oddly familiar, aside from the fact that we worked together. It was almost like we'd met outside of work. Two hours and one Snapchat story later, I realized I'd asked out my best friend's girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13347

You deserved it

4940

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Top comments

By nattnatt73 | 31

#6641366 - Saturday 2 July 2016 2:13

I don't really understand the FML in this situation

By ScarletSarah | 19

#6663127 - Tuesday 2 August 2016 3:03

Did she pull them down? I don't see the problem here. More info would be great

COMMENTS

By nattnatt73 | 31

#6641366 - Saturday 2 July 2016 2:13

I don't really understand the FML in this situation

nattnatt73 | 31

#6642218 - Sunday 3 July 2016 10:44

No but seriously can you please explain?

Mangascribbler | 19

#6643236 - Monday 4 July 2016 23:29

It's cool, I don't get it either.

By alphafish17 | 16

#6663126 - Tuesday 2 August 2016 3:01

Huh?

By ScarletSarah | 19

#6663127 - Tuesday 2 August 2016 3:03

Did she pull them down? I don't see the problem here. More info would be great

By nesteremily | 31

#6663129 - Tuesday 2 August 2016 3:04

Hey at least she didn't pull them down.

By honeyleee | 15

#6663130 - Tuesday 2 August 2016 3:04

LOL. I came to the comments with hopes of an explanation but nobody understands. I feel better.

By jcash52426 | 5

#6663134 - Tuesday 2 August 2016 3:06

Grandmas can snorkel!?!?!?

By farmgirl98 | 14

#6663139 - Tuesday 2 August 2016 3:13

Just be glad you have a grandma. I'd give anything to have my grandma back to tease me

By chrisbeaudoin | 26

#6663141 - Tuesday 2 August 2016 3:16

Nobody really knows what you mean op, this is one of the most pointless fmls I've seen lately

By TurquoiseJesus | 15

#6663144 - Tuesday 2 August 2016 3:27

I can only assume she grabbed your dick, otherwise what?

By flamingarrow59 | 21

#6663145 - Tuesday 2 August 2016 3:32

Was it like sexual or something? That'd be fucked but besides that there's nothing I can see FML worthy.