I'm not saying that it would be particularly pleasant, but if I were you, I would just poop inside of a bucket or something, and keep that bucket outside except when you have to poop. It wouldn't be fun, and it would stink, but I'd rather just have momentary self-control, than waste like 45 minutes of my day driving all the way to McDonalds and back, just taking a sh*t. Plus, you would be wasting a lot of gas and wear-and-tear on your car. Not a smart investment. Plus, it would be awkward walking into McDonalds just to poop... Probably even more awkward than my suggestions! And if you get food there, the food there is very bad for you. Worst case scenario, just pop a squat in your backyard and poop and bring some toilet paper. You do know it'll just decompose in a few weeks and turn into soil, right? That's the way nature works. Bacteria and organisms and stuff will just eat the poop. It's fine. Circle of life

Well that's a shi... I'll sto... nope that's overrated too. What do I do now?