Today, as I was walking to go look at Christmas lights in my neighborhood, I really had to go number two. I called my dad to come and pick me up. I couldn’t hold it in much longer, so I took a crap in the sewer in the street. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a walk with my family because I'm trying to be more active. We were near my son's school when I got a grumbling in my stomach. I rushed to find a place to take a dump. As I approached a Porta-Potty, my ass couldn't hold it any longer and I shit myself 20 feet away from the toilet. FML
Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML
Today, I was speeding home, bursting to take a crap. I pulled into my driveway and made it inside, before my wife told me the plumber was still working on our pipes. I ended up having to take a crap in my own backyard, behind a tree. FML
Today, both toilets in my house were occupied, so I had to shit outside. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, I had to piss really bad, so we stopped at a gas station. I guess I had to pee so bad that I didn't think to check the PUBLIC toilet. My mom went in after me and when she got back in the car, she asked me if I'd pooped, which I hadn't, then she told me that the seat was covered in it. Actual shit. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML
Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML
Today, I was having a Christmas Eve party and my sewer got backed up. Everyone had to go home and now I have to wait until Monday to get it fixed. It's a 15-minute drive to the local McDonald's to take a crap. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
******** on Pennywise is not a bad thing. Unless it was the band. In which case you'd better apologize.
Bogrbon 27
Storm drains generally are not septic sewers. They generally go straight to waterways without the rigorous water treatment you'd get in a septic sewer. You'd have been better off to shit on the grass and pick it up with a bag like we do with dogs. Of course if it was the runs, then you're screwed no matter what.
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Comments (5)
BurnInDemonFire 39
******** on Pennywise is not a bad thing. Unless it was the band. In which case you'd better apologize.
Ellimac21 14
To your defenses, when you gotta go, you gotta go. Nice of you to do it on a sewer drain, it'll be washed away during the next rain.
Bogrbon 27
Storm drains generally are not septic sewers. They generally go straight to waterways without the rigorous water treatment you'd get in a septic sewer. You'd have been better off to shit on the grass and pick it up with a bag like we do with dogs. Of course if it was the runs, then you're screwed no matter what.
Ellimac21 14
Actually it depends where you live and how old the sewers are. Most of them actually are what is called 'combined' system, where everything (wastewater + rain) goes to the same place. The 'separate' systems are in areas with new properties, new roads etc. or in small areas where flooding problems have lead the Council/State to remove the existing system and put a new one, which is super expensive. But yeah sure taking a dumpon a gully and leaving it there is not ideal.
spinspinsugar 12
I mean, that's where it ends up. you just took out the middle man.
bobsanction 18
Well, at least you didn't leave it right in the street.