Today, I was having a cheat meal after two weeks of strict dieting. When I opened the pizza box, I saw a cockroach. It had been baked into the cheese. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, I was starving and ordered pizza. They said it would take 30 minutes. When it arrived an hour later, I was so hangry, I didn’t even wait for the delivery guy to leave. I grabbed the pizza box, ripped it open, and immediately dropped it face-down onto the ground. I ended up eating a slice of cold, dirt-covered pizza like a sad, defeated animal. FML
Today, feeling ravenous and hungover, I sneakily ate my roommate’s leftover pizza. Halfway through, I realized it wasn’t pizza, it was a frozen waffle with ketchup and cheese they’d left in the box as a trap. I fell for it. FML
Today, I ordered ramen to go. I looked at my order and discovered a cockroach. Disgusted, I showed it to them, and they apologized by "replacing" it for free. Later on, while I was enjoying the delicious food, I once again discovered a cockroach buried under all the noodles. FML
Today, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I was starving and it was the fastest thing to order. Half way through it, I found something which does not belong, and removed it. It was half a cockroach, and I don't know where the other half is. FML
Today, I felt like cheating on my diet and ordered a pizza. My mom and my sister were napping, so I put in the delivery notes, “Please don’t knock.” The delivery guy knocked anyway. LOUD. My mom and sister got up and saw everything. FML
Today, I bought a slice of pizza at my favorite gas station. Upon opening the box, I found that the lone piece of pepperoni visible through the window on the box was in fact the only piece on the whole slice. FML
Today, I decided to make myself a nice meal. I bought expensive pasta and sauce etc. It looked delicious, I decided the finishing touch would be some parmesan cheese. I grabbed the bag and threw a handful of cheese on my meal. The cheese was about 98% mould. FML
Today, I found a New Year's surprise: a cockroach in my kitchen drawers. FML
Today, I baked a cake. After feeding it to my entire family, I opened the stove, planning to temporarily store the cake inside. I then noticed a mouse, burnt to a crisp. FML
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Top comments
purpleturtle16 20
The Universe is trying to make you stick to your goal! Please call the pizza place and ask for a refund.
llamarrama01 21
That must've really bugged you.
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Comments (125)
brandoneyez1 25
Cheaters never prosper.
DenBriZel 31
Tell that to the Patriots.
x3sarax3 17
That's some bad karma right there. I'd freak out.. And make a trip down there to speak to the manager.. And call corporate.
Kirbyzx 16
I see no discrepancy. Extra protein, no extra cost.
think_pink02 4
Yes #14 it is extra protein, but it's also a cockroach that got in there without anybody knowing, meaning it's very very unsanitary Especially it being a COCKROACH for heavens sake !!!
conman317 14
Still legally food safe. Just a little extra protein.
TheLadyOpal 30
That cockroach died to help you reach your goal. Don't let its sacrifice go to waste!
badgercheese94 16
You're making 2 weeks seem like a long time to diet.
ksks1234 33
If you have always eaten poorly, the first two weeks would probably be the hardest and seem like a long time. It would be like breaking any other habit, the first so many weeks/ months suck since you are breaking routine.
wyverntail 15
It really is. I'm on a diet and it's been about 3 weeks as well and I already cheated with a few cookies, 4 slices of pizza, and some chocolate.... But I did find almond butter that's made of pure almonds, so that's helping my sweet tooth...
Brandi_Faith 34
I think that anyone that goes on a diet finds it hard no matter how long (or little) they've been on it. Cutting out food you love and eating things that aren't your normal foods and probably aren't nearly as tasty is always hard no matter who you are or how you eat. Changing things & breaking bad habits are always difficult and there's no shame in admitting it.
Apretendbiscuit 12
Wrong topping?
AverageJoey 18
It's a gift from the heavens you can call the pizza place and get a surplus of pizza coupons.
t_fml 11
What a ****. Get it? ****-roach
Saikon1357 25
Booooo!
teamnikster 9
That's the best motivation I've ever heard of.