Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was seeing my boyfriend for the first time in 3 weeks. I was so excited to see him that I gave him a big hug. He must have been excited to see me too, because he hugged me so tight that he squeezed a fart out of me. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I realized that the only time my boyfriend ever wants to hug me is just after he's let off a fart and wants to pull me into it. FML
Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML
Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for two years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
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Top comments
iAmScrubs 19
He is going to make a vow to never wash that hand again.
FiestaInMyPants 8
He took your breath away, but from the wrong end..
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Comments (266)
Symmetry88 0
Today, I was hanging out with the girl that's obviously liked me for months. As the time came by to say goodbye, I decided to do a favor for her. So I put my hands on her incredibly fat ass. She was obviously enjoying it, then I felt a breeze on my hand, and everything began to stink. I'm standing there fighting to get my hand out of her back pocket as she blows another tremendous fart. I couldn't believe it, the only day I decide to do something nice for a girl I am disgusted by and she farts in my hand. FML
KYLAisaBITCH 4
was your pocket on your asshole??
Captain0bv10us 0
Don't worry...maybe he has some twisted fetish for that sort of thing :)
billnunz 0
I love wen some body farts in your hand then you rub it against their face
hahalaughing 0
wowww. thats really disgusting. poor guy.
UnderArmourPro 0
He squeezed it out of you
enopola 5
if dude had any balls he would have yelled "deal breaker" as he pushed off you to run. If that's how the first kiss went, it's going downhill fast, can't risk another "accident"
KelseyWelsey7 0
Hahaha. Must have been amazing for him.
zembof 3
omg no one wants to hear about lady farts I'd rather be sucked into a black hole being pulled apart atom by atom and if I came out on the other side have a space tiger eat me that's how gross that shit is now stop it sick bitch
CorinnaHEY 6
lmfao
sydneymwfca 10
hahah farealll! like can she not control that?!
aknight14 0
ewwwww