Intimacy: Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to...

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 07:27 - Japan - Ageo

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 817

You deserved it 5 509

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 06:59 - United States - Atwater

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 635

You deserved it 2 709

By KO - 12/10/2014 16:45 - United States

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 858

You deserved it 4 391

Triggered

By Ouch - 06/10/2025 20:00

Today, after a long dry spell, I spent a day treating my wife, ending with a full body massage. She was wearing only panties, breathing heavily, and spread her legs, so I reached for her crotch to finger her… and she kicked me in the head so hard I fell off the bed and split my head open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 177

Life imitates bad art

By sex sent me to the Er - 15/10/2019 14:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 2 210

One nation, under rod

By LaLa - 20/09/2019 22:00

Today, I was fooling around with my partner after his shower. He moved my hands up to push me against the wall. Instead of hitting the wall, my hands hit the shower rod. It fell on my face and I got a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 533

You deserved it 215

By WasntWorthIt - 30/07/2014 17:04 - United States - Concord

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 764

You deserved it 5 886

Are you experienced?

By still laughing - 28/08/2015 21:48 - United States - Providence

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 526

You deserved it 5 120

Slapstick

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 04:00

Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 140

Sexy!

By troubleintoyland - 24/12/2010 03:03 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I attempted to have sex in my childhood bedroom. As we were falling onto the bed, I smacked my head on the wall, which caused a shelf of stuffed toys to fall onto the bed. Not only did it kill the mood, the shelf also hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 883

You deserved it 9 579

By Anonymous - 30/05/2013 03:55 - United States - Redlands

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 796

You deserved it 9 833

Tripartita 44

Sunday 28 February 2016 0:34

You were aiming for porno but life threw you a romantic comedy.

tumtum888 12

Sunday 28 February 2016 0:27

**** stunts are for pros only lol

Comments

Wizardo 33

Sunday 28 February 2016 15:30

RKO outta nowhere! Oh my god, she's busted wiiiide open.

whythehelldid 4

Sunday 28 February 2016 17:26

At least you didn't end up in the E.R FOR "Sex sent me to the E.R

Sansational_ 18

Sunday 28 February 2016 18:41

OP is from Japan, I'm sure she's seen some weird shit on pornos...

PolarBearActual 4

Sunday 28 February 2016 19:25

Hahahahaha

DrHothead 15

Sunday 28 February 2016 19:33

Keep practicing

genshift 8

Sunday 28 February 2016 23:29

Not as easy as it looks, is it?

LowLifeLoser001 5

Monday 29 February 2016 1:32

Not everything in movies is doable. Things like position changes, car stunts, Ryan Gosling. You just got to practice, OP.

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 29 February 2016 6:07

You forgot to call in the stunt pussy

edmunson 22

Monday 29 February 2016 6:24

**** or comedy...quick switch! Too bad it ended as a tragedy.

Ruskiy_Cherep 18

Monday 29 February 2016 21:11

Smooth

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my boyfriend was reaching over to give me a hug for no reason. I said "Aww, You're sweet! I love you too!" He looked confused and said, "That's great, but I was reaching for the remote." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 392

You deserved it 6 580

Today, a lady came in screaming at me, demanding to see my manager and asked for the “corporate office” phone number. She had received a letter from the IRS stating that she owes $8,000. She threatened to “sue me dry” if I didn’t “take the charges off.” I simply man the front desk at the tax services office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 97

Today, I found out that the so-called vegetarian soy sauce my mom has made for me several times has minced meat in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 270

You deserved it 13 517

Today, my boyfriend said, "One day I'll tell my children how I met you. I mean, our children." It's pretty cute, except for the fact that we're 17 and have been dating for only two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 764

You deserved it 1 249

Today, my stomach growled so loudly in class that my professor told us to make sure our phones were silenced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 937

You deserved it 226

Today, I realised how damn creepy I am because I get nervous and smile when someone looks at me, and no it's not one of those smiles you'd love looking at, it's a smile straight out of a horror movie. I made a bunch of children run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 549

You deserved it 2 717