Intimacy: Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to...

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 07:27 - Japan - Ageo

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 779

You deserved it 5 478

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 06:59 - United States - Atwater

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 588

You deserved it 2 696

By KO - 12/10/2014 16:45 - United States

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 829

You deserved it 4 378

Life imitates bad art

By sex sent me to the Er - 15/10/2019 14:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 2 117

One nation, under rod

By LaLa - 20/09/2019 22:00

Today, I was fooling around with my partner after his shower. He moved my hands up to push me against the wall. Instead of hitting the wall, my hands hit the shower rod. It fell on my face and I got a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 500

You deserved it 207

By WasntWorthIt - 30/07/2014 17:04 - United States - Concord

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 731

You deserved it 5 873

Are you experienced?

By still laughing - 28/08/2015 21:48 - United States - Providence

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 474

You deserved it 5 087

Slapstick

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 04:00

Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 114

By troubleintoyland - 24/12/2010 03:03 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I attempted to have sex in my childhood bedroom. As we were falling onto the bed, I smacked my head on the wall, which caused a shelf of stuffed toys to fall onto the bed. Not only did it kill the mood, the shelf also hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 842

You deserved it 9 552

By Anonymous - 30/05/2013 03:55 - United States - Redlands

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 761

You deserved it 9 817

Alexa, play "Cannonball" by The Breeders

By Anonymous - 18/05/2020 17:00

Today, I was getting frisky with my husband under the covers in bed. My son decided to run into our room and cannonball on top of my husband. This startled him, which caused him to bite me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 579

You deserved it 306

Tripartita 44

Sunday 28 February 2016 0:34

You were aiming for porno but life threw you a romantic comedy.

tumtum888 12

Sunday 28 February 2016 0:27

**** stunts are for pros only lol

Comments

teentee401 36

Sunday 28 February 2016 3:38

It's probably a rule of thumb to not base sex off of what you see on TV or in movies.

dirty_dan_ 15

Sunday 28 February 2016 5:07

Maybe you should try being a bit more careful haha. Have fun coming up with stories to tell the doctor

Kr1ket927 15

Sunday 28 February 2016 5:15

Totally something I would do lol.

emi_alejandra 23

Sunday 28 February 2016 5:18

Imagine trying to explain that to the doctors

SunshineBoy_fml 16

Sunday 28 February 2016 5:23

Try harder the next time! Put pillows all over the floor..

pandemonium307 10

Sunday 28 February 2016 5:35

I guess they need to put a do not try this at home, these are done by professionals disclaimer for you in the movies you're watching.

sirdannyboy1 20

Sunday 28 February 2016 6:32

Doesn't sound very sexy.

asiansapphire 10

Sunday 28 February 2016 7:07

**** movies should say as wwe, don't try this at home for such stunts.

hunnykhan 11

Sunday 28 February 2016 8:37

happens when you are married... those stunts are probably better outside marriage ;)

Xandriajoy10 18

Sunday 28 February 2016 12:37

You can break a penis doing crazy shit like that, which would require surgery. I'm not a man, but I'm fairly sure that isn't something they'd want to experience