Intimacy: Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy...

By didntevenknow - 13/08/2012 15:06 - Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 552

You deserved it 38 057

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Hard in flip flops - 21/01/2018 06:00

Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 891

You deserved it 4 730

By NotSoSexy - 26/11/2009 00:39 - United States

Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend and absent-mindedly began sucking on a marker. He jokingly told me it was sexy, so I continued while making obscene gestures and moans. Suddenly he began to look nervous. I turned around to see my dad looking at me, disgusted and confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 421

You deserved it 30 332

By identitychangeplease - 19/09/2012 20:41 - Sweden - Nyn?shamn

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 584

You deserved it 3 692

By Anonymous - 04/06/2011 00:41 - United States

Today, my mom looked through my browser history and saw Chatroulette. She thought I'd gotten into online gambling, and wouldn't believe me when I explained what it really was. After I insisted on showing her, the first chat window to open contained cocks as far as the eye could see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 162

You deserved it 42 407

By Jssceli09 - 18/12/2009 08:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were using our skype accounts for the first time. He went to the restroom and I thought that I'd surprise him with my clothes off for when he came back. I heard him walk back into the room so I got into position. It wasn't him. It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 638

You deserved it 24 968

Didn't see you there

By eatmyshipoopie - 18/12/2009 15:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 607

You deserved it 10 108

Bobs and vagene!!

By fuck - 13/07/2013 17:22 - United Kingdom - Farnham

Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 502

You deserved it 59 883

By wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill. So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he points behind me, my mom watched the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 076

You deserved it 73 883

By Anonymous - 22/07/2015 11:52 - United States - Garland

Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 976

You deserved it 3 620

Oh, hello…

By Anonymous - 16/07/2010 04:19 - United States

Today, I decided to try and seduce my boyfriend of 2 years. He was on his laptop, and while he was on it I took off my shirt and bra, and gave him a hug from behind. What I didn't know was that he was video chatting his father the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 667

You deserved it 48 823

BubbleGrunge 18

Monday 13 August 2012 19:06

I'm slightly curious if your dad was not at least a tad impressed. I mean, who wouldn't want that ability??

MaliciousMel 1

Monday 13 August 2012 19:07

I'm not sure if I should click Your Life Sucks or You Deserved it, but either way, this is beautiful.

Comments

nevershoutkendal_fml 10

Monday 13 August 2012 20:08

Why are there so many FMLs dealing with men sucking themselves off all of the sudden? Is this the new planking?

Zdoggg 4

Monday 13 August 2012 20:25

Honestly I didn't even know that was possible. Damn disturbing if you ask me

reject214 10

Monday 13 August 2012 20:33

That guy is my hero. GOD status achieved.

daybar12 8

Monday 13 August 2012 20:39

What's omegle?

rivaraven 35

Monday 13 August 2012 20:46

omegle.com Place for mainly horny people. Kinda sick, actually.

KiddNYC1O 20

Monday 13 August 2012 21:29

So I was curious and went on it after reading this FML. When I asked someone for their asl they said "18 female... No sorry male, but I can be female if you want." Just a benign sample of what goes on there.

osm1989_fml 6

Monday 13 August 2012 20:40

Even if I possessed the proper anatomy to attempt this, I wouldn't. That's so gross.

rivaraven 35

Monday 13 August 2012 20:44

Hah, my boyfriend gives me ******** good enough... But that's impressive.

fukmefreddy 4

Monday 13 August 2012 20:49

Just tell him you were curious, and now you're definitely straight

perdix 29

Monday 13 August 2012 20:57

Did your dad suddenly sign up to take 10 yoga classes a day?

PrussiaisAwesome 15

Monday 13 August 2012 20:58

Wow...I kinda want to see that as well.

baby_frenchie 6

Monday 13 August 2012 21:02

Ooooh, nigga, you nasty!

SpRiTzSpLaSh 7

Monday 13 August 2012 21:05

Why in the world would you want to suck yourself off..

Dracoboxer357 35

Monday 13 August 2012 21:24

77- Why wouldn't you, if you could? I jerk off because I can and it feels great....do you? ;)

challan 19

Tuesday 14 August 2012 5:02

How can you seriously ask that question? If you never see me post on FML again, its because I've learned to lick myself. I will forever be to busy to do anything but that...