Intimacy: Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and...

By Anonymous - 18/04/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 583

You deserved it 8 213

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Relaxed

By sarabellekitty - 21/10/2019 04:00

Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 930

You deserved it 346

By Anonymous - 09/03/2013 08:56 - United States

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 140

You deserved it 5 964

Hello? Hello?

By Anonymous - 12/10/2010 05:16 - United States

Today, I learned that my boyfriend has narcolepsy when we were having sex and he passed out on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 586

You deserved it 4 085

Knackered

By bandeek - 23/10/2016 18:52

Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 066

You deserved it 2 885

Gimme the D

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 11:00 - United States - Citrus Heights

Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 208

That was quick

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 550

You deserved it 6 818

So hott

By facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 730

You deserved it 15 160

By Sleepy head - 07/10/2013 01:34 - United States

Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 752

You deserved it 15 031

The Great Pretender

By CJune24 - 22/10/2014 21:24 - United Kingdom - Huddersfield

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 527

You deserved it 5 442

By Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 335

You deserved it 28 314

ILoveEggnog 7

Monday 18 April 2011 9:25

I think it's because she doesn't suck in bed.

hwilly 0

Monday 18 April 2011 9:05

Damn, next time your on top ha

Comments

xxjimmyboixx 0

Monday 18 April 2011 14:29

sounds like the only way u got him in bed is either drugs or alcohol

ifiFaLL 1

Monday 18 April 2011 14:44

LOLOLOLOL!!!!

azcarate 0

Monday 18 April 2011 15:02

Dang that just sucks all together.

reddwarf_fml 0

Monday 18 April 2011 15:07

compliment????

lolwutdino 9

Monday 18 April 2011 15:44

Mindfuck?;D

KickItHigh 32

Monday 18 April 2011 15:45

Because it does. :P

lmaoatall 6

Monday 18 April 2011 15:46

why are you complaining? he stayed didn't he? I would have taken that as a complement.

Blue_Barbie 0

Monday 18 April 2011 15:50

So much for being the man of ur dreams!!

thatyngboyryan 1

Monday 18 April 2011 16:01

lol he the one dreaming not

ceddyz17 10

Monday 18 April 2011 16:05

drunk sex?

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Jewelry Kids Fight Family Love Students Relatable Work Birds Sleep Noise Animals Mental health Contraception Medication Racism Cheating Pregnancy Relationship advice Teenagers Friends Intimacy Sex Embarrassing Food Revenge Cats

The Top

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line told me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I had a headache, my legs were stiff, and my date must've thought I stood her up. The tech finally arrived, pries the door open, then rudely asked, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 451

You deserved it 3 567

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 848

You deserved it 7 890

The Top

Today, I bought some really expensive face wipes that were supposed to cure my awful acne. I was excited to use them until I found out my mom had used them all wiping down her car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 279

You deserved it 3 302

Today, it has been 57 hours since I have last had food. The fridge is empty. The freezer is empty. The pantry is empty. Even my bank account is empty because my pay has been delayed. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 534

You deserved it 227

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 87

Today, I finished a 6-part project. It took me 7 hours of straight work because my partner decided I should do it alone. I then learned that the reason my partner did not help me was because the teacher e-mailed the leader of every group, saying the project was cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 580

You deserved it 2 431

Today, my future mother-in-law blamed me for the death of her husband because I should have taken him to the ER when she didn't feel like it. She then blamed me for her getting a new boyfriend less than two months later and making her son hate her when she insisted he call the guy "Dad". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 656