Intimacy: Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and...

By Anonymous - 18/04/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 583

You deserved it 8 213

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

Relaxed

By sarabellekitty - 21/10/2019 04:00

Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 930

You deserved it 346

By Anonymous - 09/03/2013 08:56 - United States

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 140

You deserved it 5 964

Hello? Hello?

By Anonymous - 12/10/2010 05:16 - United States

Today, I learned that my boyfriend has narcolepsy when we were having sex and he passed out on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 586

You deserved it 4 085

Knackered

By bandeek - 23/10/2016 18:52

Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 066

You deserved it 2 885

Gimme the D

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 11:00 - United States - Citrus Heights

Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 208

That was quick

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 550

You deserved it 6 818

So hott

By facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 730

You deserved it 15 160

By Sleepy head - 07/10/2013 01:34 - United States

Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 752

You deserved it 15 031

The Great Pretender

By CJune24 - 22/10/2014 21:24 - United Kingdom - Huddersfield

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 527

You deserved it 5 442

By Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 335

You deserved it 28 314

ILoveEggnog 7

Monday 18 April 2011 9:25

I think it's because she doesn't suck in bed.

hwilly 0

Monday 18 April 2011 9:05

Damn, next time your on top ha

Comments

MinnesotaMakesMe 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 18:17

Use a new strategy besides getting him wasted next time lol

calmyourfatself 1

Wednesday 25 May 2011 20:20

kindly punch him in his face get up and leave is obviously the proper respond to him passing out

MadiStorey 0

Monday 30 May 2011 1:45

Sounds exactly like the scene from "The Way We Were".

world_is_a_fail 6

Friday 22 July 2011 19:28

next time just tie him to a wall or something so he'd still have to stand and then rape him

swinglifeaway123 8

Friday 9 September 2011 16:06

I did that once. She was sooo pissed.

jose18 3

Thursday 20 October 2011 5:07

Narcoleptic

pauldestiny 4

Sunday 10 August 2014 7:01

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA shahahab has ababhanhahaha

exoticDeath 20

Wednesday 9 September 2015 5:19

"Pussy put his ass to sleep now he calling me NyQuil"

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Jewelry Kids Fight Family Love Relatable Students Work Birds Sleep Noise Animals Mental health Contraception Medication Racism Cheating Pregnancy Relationship advice Teenagers Friends Intimacy Sex Embarrassing Food Revenge Cats

The Top

Today, I've had a crush on a guy for a while - a friend of mine knows this. I finally decided to find out once and for all if there was any chance with him, so I drove to his house, armed with a home cooked meal and wine, only to find the very friend I confided in was at his house. It turns out they are now an item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 151

Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 166

The Top

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 107

You deserved it 4 237

Today, I received a full scholarship to the university of my dreams in England. Being born into a fairly poor family, I've never received anything for free and I worked on my grades like a dog last semester to achieve this. However, the scholarship is only valid if the UK stays in the EU. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 564

You deserved it 204

Today, I found out that I get incredibly, disgustingly ill if I eat anything before or during a flight. I discovered this 4 hours into a 23-hour flight to Greece. Only 19 hours of nausea to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 172

You deserved it 307

Today, my dad spent 30 minutes incorrectly correcting me about our legal system. He thinks he knows more than me because he's been divorced twice. I'm a lawyer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 134

You deserved it 2 434

Today, I noticed that all 200 remaining business cards out of the 500 that I had made have the wrong phone number on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 801

You deserved it 1 376

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 009

You deserved it 3 665