Today, I was dragged to the food store with my mom. While we were shopping, the fire alarm went off. My mom pushed the cart at me, nearly knocking me over, and sprinted for the door. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML
Today, I tripped while rushing to my classes. In a desperate attempt to regain my balance, I grabbed the nearest thing to me. A fire alarm. FML
Today, I accidentally left the store with a bag full of groceries without paying. I realized this halfway to my car when an employee chased me down, thinking I was a thief. Turns out, I had spaced out and walked out during a fire alarm drill. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for trying to return a shopping cart to the cart corral. She then forced me to leave it in the parking lot. FML
Today, I was getting food at a buffet. Suddenly, my mom appeared and started screaming at a guy for pushing me. I wasn't pushed by anyone, I just tripped over nothing. The poor guy looked so confused and embarrassed, and my mom wouldn't let me defend him. FML
Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML
Today, I was in the dressing room of my favorite store. While looking in the mirror at a shirt I really like, the fire alarm went off. In a panic, I ran out of the store like everyone else. The sensor went off on my shirt and I was banned from the store for attempted theft. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping when I left my cart to grab an item. I returned, and started pushing the cart again. Halfway through the store, a furious lady confronted me, demanding her cart back. I had to walk back in shame to find my own actual cart, which was now nowhere to be found. FML
Today, as I entered a stairwell, the fire alarm went off, triggering the automatic fire doors to close. The one I was walking through ran over my foot, ripping my toenail, and then smacked me in the face. FML
Today, I got trapped in a glass elevator at the mall. My father walked right by the elevator, laughed and went into a store. A fireman got me out. FML
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Top comments
zaku2capt 1
Damn sounds like she has fast reflexes.
johnnyknoxville 8
Awesome parenting.
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Comments (74)
Hi_I_am_Q 0
Wow. I probably care about you more than your mom...
miserypoison 13
In Soviet Russia Fires ALARM you.
danielreader22 4
Uhh... what?
StopDropNRoll 11
He is saying there is no fire alarms in Russia. You don't know about to you feel the heat(see the fire).
danielreader22 4
Ohh ok now I get it. Thanks, 26.
Legendslayer222 26
Well now you are probably on fire so chase after her like some hellish demon and have your revenge! >:)
crazyluvbug 8
Omg it so horribly evil....I LOVE IT! };^P
TFMLST 0
Lmao damn
xlord 27
There's no capital on "much." I love slaying grammar nazis. :D
savagearmz 6
Ha u commented in the wrong 1
xlord 27
How the **** does my comment magically teleport down here?
sara_saturday 5
seems like this could be a great bargaining chip later on. . .
catnip1997 0
well is your mom hot?..
savagearmz 6
Finally someone gets to the point
SolemnlyLove 7
The image i have in my head is enough to make me laugh for an hour ahead
donnymarkus 3
Firstworldproblems
wilasmilexD 0
Ur mom is such a tender person. :/
florenzfang 0
Time to do a DNA test