Today, I was dragged to the food store with my mom. While we were shopping, the fire alarm went off. My mom pushed the cart at me, nearly knocking me over, and sprinted for the door. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML
Today, I tripped while rushing to my classes. In a desperate attempt to regain my balance, I grabbed the nearest thing to me. A fire alarm. FML
Today, I accidentally left the store with a bag full of groceries without paying. I realized this halfway to my car when an employee chased me down, thinking I was a thief. Turns out, I had spaced out and walked out during a fire alarm drill. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for trying to return a shopping cart to the cart corral. She then forced me to leave it in the parking lot. FML
Today, I was getting food at a buffet. Suddenly, my mom appeared and started screaming at a guy for pushing me. I wasn't pushed by anyone, I just tripped over nothing. The poor guy looked so confused and embarrassed, and my mom wouldn't let me defend him. FML
Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML
Today, I was in the dressing room of my favorite store. While looking in the mirror at a shirt I really like, the fire alarm went off. In a panic, I ran out of the store like everyone else. The sensor went off on my shirt and I was banned from the store for attempted theft. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping when I left my cart to grab an item. I returned, and started pushing the cart again. Halfway through the store, a furious lady confronted me, demanding her cart back. I had to walk back in shame to find my own actual cart, which was now nowhere to be found. FML
Today, as I entered a stairwell, the fire alarm went off, triggering the automatic fire doors to close. The one I was walking through ran over my foot, ripping my toenail, and then smacked me in the face. FML
Today, I got trapped in a glass elevator at the mall. My father walked right by the elevator, laughed and went into a store. A fireman got me out. FML
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Top comments
zaku2capt 1
Damn sounds like she has fast reflexes.
johnnyknoxville 8
Awesome parenting.
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Comments (74)
sugerbabe116 4
Too funny
bobleheadNS 0
You need to be prepared for this. There's some crazy ass moms out there these days ;p
hiiithere 0
like the ones on toddlers and tiaras
XxDancerGirlxX 17
That show is insane!!
Natty23 0
why are parents acting like dip ***** nowadays, pretty much the recent ones are about dumb ass parents being dicks to there children, **** the parents!!!
MacUser1986 5
This is why people should have to take a test if they want to be a parent.
jerico616 14
Next time, launch some cans of creamed corn at her head and then use her for a stepping stool to jump over the crowd!
cjgqsmooth 0
Sounds like she could be a running back for the Falcons lol
blueExcess 0
Well, can you blame her? That wasn't the fire alarm, it was the grocery store monster alarm. Last one out gets eaten.
veill7 0
lmao... its not like ur a 5 yr old. u can walk yourself out of the store. What did u want her to do take ur hand and guide u out?
jay1010 0
geez mom save ur kid
iluvboobies 9
FYL, OP. Hopefully you'll be a better parent than your mother someday.