By shinay - 11/12/2016 14:50

Today, I was walking hand in hand with my partner when we met a friend of mine and his two kids. We talked a bit, and his son kept staring at us. The boy then asked me: “Is he your dad?” No, my partner is simply 19 years older than me. And my Oedipus complex is fine, thanks. FML
I agree, your life sucks 8 865
You deserved it 2 139

shinay_fml tells us more.

For all I know, Freud's Oedipus complex is the fundamental theory that describes the incestual-like attraction of a boy to his mother, and the resulting rivalry between the boy and his father, based on Oedipus myth. Also, Freud considered since his early work on the concept that there is a feminine Oedipus complex, parallel to the masculine one. However, the definition of the feminine Oedipus complex later evolved, and lost symmetry with the masculine one due to the different reaction of boys and girls to the castration anxiety. Girls, realising they have no phallus to conquer the mother, blame the mother for this, then turn to the father in hope for his phallus and love, therefore start acting like the mother to take her place by the father's side. Boys simply love their mother and fear their father will punish them for this, by castrating them. Finally, the Oedipus complex's principle is the desire for the opposite gender parent in both boys and girls case, simply the feminine version is a bit more tricky. Moreover, Freud's Oedipus complex is nowadays often considered as the primordial theory that describes the incest taboo, involving both genders. As for Jung's Electra complex, it is initially a new terminology to designate Freud's feminine Oedipus complex, as the Electra myth is more suitable for the daughter-father situation. This terminology has been rejected by Freud who considered that it was too ambiguous, because it could imply that masculine and feminine Oedipus complex follow the exact same process, perfectly mirrored, with no supplementary twisted stages in the feminine development. Electra complex is however used in neo-freudian theory where it designates the whole daughter-loves-the-father-and-hates-the-mother thing. Alors, the neo-freudian theory diverge from the original freudian one concerning the feminine Oedipus/Electra complex process. So it is true that Electra complex is specific to this anecdote. Nevertheless, Oedipus complex is still correct as it refers to both feminine and masculine issues with the opposite gender parental figure in Freud's work. N.b., I am not a native speaker, so please forgive me for the possible mistakes.

Top comments

OP, it would only be the Oedipus complex if you were male and wanted to sleep with my sexy mo—with your mom.

I'm sure the kid didn't mean anything by it. Children try to relate everything to what they know personally and they have to learn there's other ways of doing things via exposure. Hopefully in the end it was 'no harm done'.


Talis99 26

You're going to have to accept the weird looks and comments. It's not common in this day and age. If you love each other, just accept the awkwardness of other people gracefully.

That's an Electra Complex and you seem to be acting out according to script!

I'm sure the kid didn't mean anything by it. Children try to relate everything to what they know personally and they have to learn there's other ways of doing things via exposure. Hopefully in the end it was 'no harm done'.

very true. when my husband and I went to visit my mom, my niece was over all the time and she always liked to play hide and seek with my by husband so every time she would always ask me where my "daddy" is. he's 13 years older than I am.

OP, it would only be the Oedipus complex if you were male and wanted to sleep with my sexy mo—with your mom.

it's only a freudian slip if you slip under the covers with my hot mom

last_kings84 19

Thank you for explaining what is Oedipus mean so I don't have to Google it lol

You know you've made it when the FML staff officially approves of your comment

Oedipus is a person in a play. He slept with his mom. So it would be who is Oedipus and what is Oedipus complex. The theatre nerd in me is sad to find people who haven't heard of the play because it's a pretty standard play to be taught in schools.

E gads! I just learned something! What is this site coming to? First frottage and now this. I may never be the same normal spaceship owning person.

<p>If you like older guys cause of daddy issues it's more of an Electra complex.</p>

WeirdUS 29

If you're dating someone that much older you got to except the fact that people are gonna look at you weird . Dating someone older or younger normally is a problem unless they're old enough to be your parent or sibling.You got understand that is still not fully accepted you're going to get weird looks

It's the perfect relationship... You enjoy watching TV... He enjoys telling you stories about how he invented the TV...

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Their weirdness? What? How is not wanting awkward questions expecting people to cater to you? And 19 years is barely old enough to be a parent unless someone has kids super young.

"Weirdness" is a rather harsh word, it isn't weird just because it isn't something you would do. As long as it's legal and they're happy, then I don't see the problem. A partner shouldn't be chosen based on the difference of when you and them just happen to be put on this earth, it should be based on compatibility and care for one another. However, I think it's important to keep in mind this comment came from a kid though. They really have no filter and just make assumptions based on what they've seen and experienced in their own short life. They need time for their brain to develop and learn etiquette.

As long as they're both happy, safe, consenting adults it's not weird

#13 my mother is 19 years older than me. 19 is NOT barely old enough to be a parent, nor is it 'super young.' people have kids when they are much younger than that.

#31 I wasn't insinuating that nobody has kids as a teenager, just it's not the age people generally do. I don't know anyone that was a teenage parent and my mom was 30 when she had me. So 19 seems super young to be having kids to me. So don't yell at me because I'm not having kids as a child and nobody I know is either.

By today's standards, yes 19 is young. The average age that couples have children now is way higher than 19. So don't get your panties in a twist that you're situation is now becoming archaic

wow, you people can be rude. wasnt yelling nor are my 'panties in a twist.' i know plenty of people who are having/had kids younger than 20 and who are my age (22), so i dont find my situation becoming archaic at all. we are just surrounded by different people, probably in different countries. (: excuse me for having a differing of opinion.

Except, 19 is super young to be a parent, as most parents aren't teenagers. Although in America it is more common. 19 is super young because 1) you're a TEENAGER ffs 2) the brain isn't fully developed at 19, still have a lot of growing up to do, so lots of people want to do that first and live life to the fullest before bringing kids into this world. However that doesn't mean you can't do that once you have kids.

With all due respect, different people mature at different rates, and accidents do happen sometimes as well. People become parents far older than 30, or far younger than 18. Everything doesn't run on the mean or median. Besides, I doubt people- especially a kid- are looking at them and guessing 'aha! exactly 19 years older!'. They looked significantly older than the OP, and that was enough, no year counts required.

Yeah, my 19yr old step daughter just had a daughter. Around here I'd say 15-25% of girls ages 16-19 have kids. We're a rural, low income, high drug rate region.

My parents are 19 years apart and they have been happily married for almost 30 years. It may be uncommon but it's not weird; it works for them and they happened to fall in love despite their ages.

It is the desire of a child to have a sexual relationship with the parent of the opposite gender from the child (i.e. A son and mother or daughter and father). Derived from a play 'Oedipus Rex' in which a king unwittingly killed his father and married his mother.

If it's daughter and father it's called an Electra complex :)

Unless you sorta kinda resemble your partner a little bit, like same hair color, eye color, features, your friends kid is going places. Definitely not college,but places. Like the McDonalds job application centre

Kids assume because they do not know better. I work in daycare and kids are always assuming things like that. They do not know what can or cannot be offensive yet. It does not mean they are stupid?

Dude, I just generally dislike children because they're loud, annoying, sticky and smelly. I'm the type that if I had met myself as a kid, I would've hated myself. I believe that children stop becoming cute the instant they open their mouths. So yeah, all children are stupid ¯_(ツ)_/¯

But you expect a kid to know anything about genetics? Honestly, I'm not a big fan of kids myself, but your description of them sounds very biased and superficial.

shinay 20

At that time, I was 23 and my boyfriend 42. People often think I'm older, nearly 30, and my man looks younger despite his grey hair. More importantly, I'm caucasian, dark hair, fair skin. He's asian. Now way we look alike, I guess. Still, a university classmate also managed to discreetly ask me if he was my father. This after spending a whole afternoon with us. So maybe the kid will end up with a university grade.

shinay 20

*degree, not grade. Foreigner mistake.