Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML
Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, I over-boiled some potatoes. I was having a bad day and this tipped me over the edge. I burst into tears and threw the potatoes all over my kitchen. I then stomped on the piping hot potatoes. The bottoms of my feet are blistered and still feel like they’re burning. FML
Today, I accepted I can't cook at all. Why? I burned myself cooking popcorn in a microwave oven. I accidentally burst the package open and a scorching kernel flew into my bra. FML
Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML
Today, I was making Cup Noodles for breakfast. After microwaving it for 3 minutes, I carefully grabbed the cup to pour some water out, but my hand gave out and some water spilled on it. Now I have a burned hand and no noodles. FML
Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML
Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML
Today, while cooking dinner, I managed to set my oven mitt on fire. In my panic, I tried to throw it in the sink, but it landed on a stack of t-shirts, which were lying on the counter. Both the mitt and my favorite Sonic Youth t-shirt now have matching burn holes. FML
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Top comments
ChrisLTC 3
Now when you flash your boobs it will look like they are winking!
FMLephant 2
One pound of potatoes, boiled and peeled, mayonnaise, celery, dill weed, a little mustard, and half a nipple. Season to taste.
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Comments (253)
rachelaguren 0
win.(:
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
ur a clumsy person. that really sux.
TheWorldGreatest 8
wow I'm totally sorry , I sure hope you feel better soon.
sammieskittles 0
umm wow that had to ****** hurt like a b**** so much for sex right now........
hockeyrocks39 0
I would venture to guess if you burned your nipple off the last thing on your mind would be sex. But if you happened to really want to bump-uglies in the midst of 3rd degree burn pain... the nipple really doesn't play a huge role in the whole "sex" thing.
kinga08 0
121, I would like to argue that! While I agree that sex is probably the last thing on OP's mind when she has severe burns, I do not agree that nipples do not play a big role in the "sex thing." Nipples are very sensitive and some women love having their partner play with them, it even helps some women achieve ******. If OP is one of these women, I'd be pissed!
hockeyrocks39 0
130 I agree... I was being more literal in the sense that if you really had to have sex in the condition OP is in, you could do it as in slam bam thank you mam' I guess one nipple could get some action... haha Can't imagine wanting to have sex with 3rd degree burns tho...
mismonroe 0
What's sex got to do with it? No one's ******* her nipple, I'm assuming. Reverse, Flip it, get it from behind. Problem solved.
Angi95 3
Is all people think about these days is sex.
Lawrynn 0
lol, sucks to be you.
nohugs4u 8
win
Southerndatageek 2
BLAAAAHAAHAAHHAAA BLAAAHAAHAAHAAAA That is do damn funny!
TraceCase_ 19
U laugh weird dude!
idkwhatmyusernam_fml 0
must on had a biiig nipplle
freshx_fml 6
I had to laugh, just laugh and laugh.
Ronnie_loves_you 11
apparently do why she said