Health: Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the...

By ouchmytits - 28/03/2011 06:42 - United States

Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 736

You deserved it 4 577

World Environment Day : Green and Vaudevilles
Stories where love for the planet meets situations that are as green as they are funny! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By roadbikemama - 25/10/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 262

You deserved it 11 130

By burnt - 13/08/2012 04:43 - Australia - Middle Swan

Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 138

You deserved it 3 357

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 482

You deserved it 6 937

Mush

By Tired Tater - 05/06/2023 20:00 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I over-boiled some potatoes. I was having a bad day and this tipped me over the edge. I burst into tears and threw the potatoes all over my kitchen. I then stomped on the piping hot potatoes. The bottoms of my feet are blistered and still feel like they’re burning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 1 419

Kitchen nightmares

By Clumsy - 24/08/2021 11:01 - Brazil - Niterói

Today, I accepted I can't cook at all. Why? I burned myself cooking popcorn in a microwave oven. I accidentally burst the package open and a scorching kernel flew into my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 192

By foolmetwice - 16/05/2011 14:28

Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 087

You deserved it 40 092

Clumsy

By Anonymous - 11/01/2021 20:02

Today, I was making Cup Noodles for breakfast. After microwaving it for 3 minutes, I carefully grabbed the cup to pour some water out, but my hand gave out and some water spilled on it. Now I have a burned hand and no noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 240

By klutz - 25/08/2010 04:14 - Canada

Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 207

You deserved it 9 708

By HarvestMoon_gal - 24/07/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 095

You deserved it 10 658

Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

By Anonymous - 30/04/2020 23:00

Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 410

You deserved it 547

ChrisLTC 3

Monday 28 March 2011 12:47

Now when you flash your boobs it will look like they are winking!

FMLephant 2

Monday 28 March 2011 12:55

One pound of potatoes, boiled and peeled, mayonnaise, celery, dill weed, a little mustard, and half a nipple. Season to taste.

Comments

gmc_blossom 21

Monday 28 March 2011 17:40

Pendatik and DocBastard never fail to make me smile with their comments. They comment on practically ever FML. But yes, FYL OP.

gmc_blossom 21

Monday 28 March 2011 17:45

Every* o.o

Maflagulator 1

Monday 28 March 2011 18:00

Now you got a pair of HOT ****!!

catatonicsleep 17

Monday 28 March 2011 18:32

half burned probably

mismonroe 0

Monday 28 March 2011 19:01

You obviously need a new potato salad recipe.

ThickHead 0

Monday 28 March 2011 19:01

ydi, never hold anything towards your body

Mubus 0

Monday 28 March 2011 20:07

162, Really?

markel44 0

Monday 28 March 2011 20:07

I'd still hit that. Number?

MrDiezel 3

Monday 28 March 2011 20:16

Well, no more kitchen jokes

nickward5252 0

Monday 28 March 2011 20:31

i bet the doctor liked that

Keywords

Pranks Parents Miscellaneous Gun control Awkward Health Kids Stalker My ex AITA Love Relatable Sex Work Embarrassing Customers Poopoo peepee Management Geek Periods Dating Sexism Relationship advice Anxiety Restaurants Birthday Clothes Shopping Cleaning Haircut

The Top

Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 132

You deserved it 5 885

Today, after I learned a long time ago that it's prudent to smell your shredded cheese as with milk to check its freshness, that lesson came into play when I doubted the quality of some cheese my roommate was going to use for nachos. I smelled it and got the dry heaves from the stink. He can't smell anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 69

The Top

Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 556

You deserved it 4 111

Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 961

You deserved it 10 356

Today, I was excited when I saw a missed call. It wasn't my ex-boyfriend finally willing to talk, it was the creepy guy I met on the bus in November who I haven't seen since but has written me poetry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 135

You deserved it 6 614

Today, I went to see a doctor because I have been experiencing hair loss. He insisted on a pregnancy test. My parents then grounded me. I'm a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 94

Today, I was prescribed medication to treat the headaches, caused by the medication to treat the lethargy, caused by the medication to treat my crippling nerve pain, without which I'd be stuck in a wheelchair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 91

Today, my dad was pissed and more concerned about his tomato plant being broken than the fact that I'd just tripped over it and hurt my knee. According to him, “It’s the best tomato plant we have.” Thanks for the concern dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 632