By Kingspin - 30/03/2011 16:14 - Canada
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open the door then splash the very hot bacon grease on the asshole. then say "pick that mother fucker" and for good measure kick him square in the sack, then in the face and ribs. then call the cops. don't forget to say "i was terrified!! I thought the guy was going to break in and kill me!!". blame the face and rib injuries on him "falling down".
A shotgun blast to the face would stop the problem, but replace it with another: massive gory mess of brains, blood, bits of skull all over your kitchen. I'm not sure if the Merry Maid service covers bio hazards. There are "home defender" shot gun shells specifically for killing intruders with less mess.
...How would I explain the third degree burns and traces of bacon grease? And he ran off luckily.