By Kingspin - 30/03/2011 16:14 - Canada
Kingspin tells us more.
...How would I explain the third degree burns and traces of bacon grease? And he ran off luckily.
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greet him with bacon grease and a hot pan.
op how was the bacon cooking WHILE you were asleep?
Lmao I was actually about to ask who was making the bacon...
damn i wish i knew what 1 said
83 you mom was cooking the bacon
That ******** wanted some damn bacon...
I want bacon so much now
what an asshole^^
lol^^
LOL, whaattt...
Today, I was walking by a house when I smelled burning bacon. I thought the owner must've fallen asleep with the stove on, so I picked the lock. She wasn't asleep. FML
he wrote "first!"
If there was someone in your house cooking bacon, why didn't they notice that someone was trying to break in?
hahahahah nice(:
totally agree! wait til he walks in and BAM! shotgun blast to the grill yo!
Win!...or use the frying pan
That was a good one!
A shotgun blast to the face would stop the problem, but replace it with another: massive gory mess of brains, blood, bits of skull all over your kitchen. I'm not sure if the Merry Maid service covers bio hazards. There are "home defender" shot gun shells specifically for killing intruders with less mess.
101 - Do you mean 10g Deer Slug rounds?
I always use Charlie Sheen rounds. More tiger blood.
I think you've looked way too much in to this :p
whats the FML here? did the guy actually break in? I would have told him to skedaddle and then eaten the bacon someone else was kindly making for me on such a pretty day. was there any coffee?
29 - The cleavage is a lie!
53 - What photoshop fail?
58 - There was no photoshop involved, just a pushup bra.
29 - The cleavage is a lie! Pushup bras FTL. (FML = Guy sleeping, wakes up and someone has broken into their home.) Ha! I was off topic and on topic!
62 - No. There's **** for that.
yeah, but OP doesn't say the guy actually broke in. plus, there was bacon. Bacon = no FML.
No cleavage looks like that naturally, only if you have a boob job and that isn't natural. She probably has a bra with intense padding and in reality her boobs are AA.
Probably some vegetarian bacon-haters! lol
I'm a vegetarian but I'll be goddamned if bacon isn't delicious.
instead of obviously directing attention to your very exposed due to a few zippers chest on a picture, how about you just make some bacon :)
I don't see how bacon was relevant to the FML anyway XD Maybe OP figured that putting bacon in his story would make it awesome. Well OP, it worked :D Everyone loves bacon. Even vegetarians apparently XP
that's not nice mr
^^ You have that look in your eye... That look that makes me think a lazer is about to shoot out of it.
damn thats gotta be good bacon
or a good ********.
Mmmmmm...ass bacon...even tastier than back bacon.
He just wanted to steal the bacon. I love the way you worded this. If i was drinking something, i probably would have spit it everywhere.
Well, the bacon's nice anyway! :)
holy shit you don't own a facebook! weird-o.
Holy shit, you looked at my profile? Weirdo! ...Just kidding.
I don't see the FML here. I understand that it was a nearly perfect morning, but he didn't actually get into your house. YDI for complaining.
and now I don't understand why my comment was moderated? people can tear each other into emotional shreds that have nothing to do with the actual FML, but I can't state that I don't understand the point of why this one was chosen over others?
Keywords
![FMyLife](/images/v2/logo-fml.png)
![FMyLife](/images/v2/logo-fml.png)
Let him go to sleep hearing the sound of a 12 gauge.
open the door then splash the very hot bacon grease on the asshole. then say "pick that mother ******" and for good measure kick him square in the sack, then in the face and ribs. then call the cops. don't forget to say "i was terrified!! I thought the guy was going to break in and kill me!!". blame the face and rib injuries on him "falling down".