Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine, and when the bill came, he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, because he's in the military "fighting for your freedom." He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML
Today, at a fancy date, my boyfriend said he forgot his wallet. I was instantly furious, threw a drink in his face, and yelled that he was a no-good, tiny-dicked broke loser. Dripping wine, he then said, "…but I can still pay with my phone. You didn't let me finish." FML
Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML
Today, some guy walked into the restaurant I work at and ordered enough food to serve the entire National Guard of Texas. He thanked us by leaving a $0.50 tip and shitting on the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument at a restaurant with a guy I am seeing because he refused to let me pay for the bill and I thought it was sexist. When he finally agreed, I gave the waiter my card, only to have him return a minute later telling me it was declined. FML
Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML
Today, I went on a dinner date with the guy I like. He ate all his food then started eating off my plate, going on to eat over half of my food. When the bill came, he made me pay for it. FML
Today, my boyfriend got drunk and had a fistfight with a dumb teenager, which was bad enough, but he also lost the fight, which was just pathetic and embarrassing. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Considering you have to put up with that kind of embarrassment, I hope they DID give you a free meal.
XxDevilxXGt 26
I think you misread. No one is talking about a free medal. Meal*
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (237)
keeper801 8
National guard bitches. Yes they can be deployed but op stated his mos was a mechanic.
thewife5 19
So my husband is a mechanic on a jet and is deployed with his jet quiet a bit.. So don't feel the need to make a comment about something you know nothing about. Mechanics get deployed all the time.
msrabbit625 4
He is still in the Military.
sweetcatastroph3 9
a lot of people are misreading this. yes, his profession is still valuable, and no one should make less of his position. however, as a mechanic in the national guard, i highly doubt that he's "fighting for your freedom". i don't think OP was trying to put her her bf down, she was just stating that no, he's not fighting for your freedom.
tbenson0628 14
Um. Excuse me? I sure as hell fought for freedom when I deployed and I'm a mechanic. In the national guard. but I was active at the time of my deployment. jeez. without us, all those other soldiers couldn't do their jobs cuz they break everything and would have anyone to fix it.
JJBADGE10 7
Mechanics are just as important as infantry or anyone else.
dontpanic_fml 32
It's sad that you think there are insignificant positions in the military. Go try doing something sometime, OP.
kkrivicky 6
Half of you have never been to basic, that alone would kick your ass into next century but if you can make it in after that then you should be proud of any part you take in helping our country. Wtf do you do for work? could you tell me if a hurricane hit your town that you would be out there in it helping? no, but he would. If he didnt help fix their trucks, how would they get out there to help the stranded and sick? You're ****** up for putting him down like that. I wish you could get your ass kicked in basic training. then you might have some respect.
doml510 1
And I suppose you wear a uniform too? Who are you tO undermine any job in the military. PH... Civilians...
toastedjellybowl 7
Hey, he has a point still. If it wasn't for him working on the vehicles and keeping th on pristine condition, the troops wouldn't be able to do what they do, so in a sense he is fighting for our freedom.
mpena616 7
Somewhere, Red Foreman is getting ready to put his foot in someone's ass.
Deviety 5
Im 130 lbs soaking wet, stay at home mom. A bottle of wine doesnt get me hammered, your hubby is a lightweight ;)