Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine, and when the bill came, he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, because he's in the military "fighting for your freedom." He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML
Today, at a fancy date, my boyfriend said he forgot his wallet. I was instantly furious, threw a drink in his face, and yelled that he was a no-good, tiny-dicked broke loser. Dripping wine, he then said, "…but I can still pay with my phone. You didn't let me finish." FML
Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML
Today, some guy walked into the restaurant I work at and ordered enough food to serve the entire National Guard of Texas. He thanked us by leaving a $0.50 tip and shitting on the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument at a restaurant with a guy I am seeing because he refused to let me pay for the bill and I thought it was sexist. When he finally agreed, I gave the waiter my card, only to have him return a minute later telling me it was declined. FML
Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML
Today, I went on a dinner date with the guy I like. He ate all his food then started eating off my plate, going on to eat over half of my food. When the bill came, he made me pay for it. FML
Today, my boyfriend got drunk and had a fistfight with a dumb teenager, which was bad enough, but he also lost the fight, which was just pathetic and embarrassing. FML
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Top comments
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Considering you have to put up with that kind of embarrassment, I hope they DID give you a free meal.
XxDevilxXGt 26
I think you misread. No one is talking about a free medal. Meal*
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Comments (237)
LebronJames23 5
Who gets that drunk off one bottle of wine?
Hazmat88 2
What a disgrace....
Fooey_214 12
Yea, unfortunately there's a lot of those out there
Fooey_214 12
He's not a real soldier
ariaofdoom 16
Well, your boyfriend is an idiot for becoming obnoxiously drunk in public. But just because he's national guard doesn't make him lesser than active duty. If it weren't for NG, active duty would have to deploy quite a bit more. And don't knock that he's a mechanic, they play a vital role; especially overseas. I learned quickly to become friends with the ones in my unit.
grayeyedmarine 14
Tell him to suck it up, some of us spend every single day fighting for his freedom. not just once in a blue moon like his sour ass. if he joined cause he was entitled to things he sure needs to get out in a hurry, that's not the kind of child I want fixing my trucks when I leave for combat
thewife5 19
Are you implying that active duty members don't get drunk and act obnoxious in public from time to time? Tsk tsk.. We all know better. You appear as ignorant has the OPs boyfriend.
Cryogenix 12
Your boyfriend is a moron. Weekend Warriors ain't nothin.
ultra_notorious 26
nothing worse than those wannabe part timers that think they are entitled to such perks when in reality they're milking Uncle Sams tit.
StzaCrack666 18
this reminds me of That 70s Show because Bob was national guard but thought he was in the army
NickPaulson 6
That's more than most people are doing