Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some...

By Princeton - United States

Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a F*ing idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6738

You deserved it

47747

Favorite

Love

Buzzing the tower

Blender time!

Gentle

By Gone With the Wind - United States - Omaha

Today, the tornado sirens went off so my family went to the basement and turned on the TV to the local news. The station goes to their sky cam as a trampoline flies by. Quite the sight. When the storm passed, I looked outside to see our trampoline was gone. It was the one flying by on TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53569

You deserved it

4855

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15902

You deserved it

44750

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I saw a guy at a bar that looked cute. I didn't dare talk to him, though. When I was on my way home, drunkenly singing the entire way, I finally noticed he was walking along behind me. Probably for about 15 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1301

You deserved it

464

Favorite

By laurraaa - United States

Today, I received 7 notifications on facebook. Girls in my grade were commenting on my photo because they knew the location of it. They then started to have a conversation and they planned a whole social event. On my photo. I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52365

You deserved it

4327

Favorite

By oconron - United States

Today, I put my picture into a celebrity look alike website. The three matches that came up were Barbra Streisand, Hillary Clinton, and Boy George. I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54536

You deserved it

7280

Favorite

By Imdead

Today, we're taking the plane home from Dublin after a school trip that I only barely got onto after troubles with my passport. Luckily for me, a kind person has decided to save me from the passport this evening - together with the rest of my wallet. I'm stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2562

You deserved it

210

Favorite

By Ugh - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that I moan too much when we have sex. I actually just fake my moans in an effort to cover the sound of my cracking hips. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28219

You deserved it

5829

Favorite

By smart phone mms - United States

Today, I got a new smart phone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10951

You deserved it

47445

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to Taco Bell since it's her favorite place to eat. I thought it'd be cute to get one of the sauce packets that says "Will you marry me?" on it and give it to her all cute-like. She thought it was adorable. While we were leaving, she threw it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35911

You deserved it

25834

Favorite

By YaytoSeniorYear

Today, my roommate revealed that she's dating my ex. I later had to navigate around them caressing each other just to grab my noodles from the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4704

You deserved it

271

Favorite

By Anonymous - 17/8/2020 17:08

Motormouth

Today, my boyfriend and I were riding in the back seat of his mom’s car and she kept talking at him non-stop. He responded only in grunts. When at some point I informed her that her son had been asleep for several minutes, she just kept on talking to him anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

945

You deserved it

Favorite

By kansasgirl - United States

Today, my two year old decided to run out the front door alone. I ran after him, tripped over the bottom of my jeans, fell onto the sidewalk and scraped up both my hands and knees. My neighbors just watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24679

You deserved it

4351

Favorite

By hellolaina - United States - San Francisco

Today, I realized that without fail, even if I'm not supposed to get it, I get my period just in time for vacations. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12839

Phew, glad it wasn't me

1364

Favorite

By cheerymama - United States

Today, I did my old "toe-touch" cheerleading move to try to impress my 5-year-old daughter. When I landed, I broke my toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11885

You deserved it

26015

Favorite

By grrrr - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Feeling bad, I texted him a few hours later apologizing. He said it was fine and that he went ahead and picked up a girl from the mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12096

You deserved it

48049

Favorite

By mandybar15 - United States - Norman

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38088

You deserved it

6645

Favorite

By thatgirl - United States

Today, I went on a date with a respectable, successful, polite, and attractive guy. Ten minutes into the conversation, I find out he's a neo-Nazi and earned a swastika tattoo in prison for "something shady." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33974

You deserved it

3534

Favorite

By Emily - Canada - Baden

Today, my husband told me that occasionally I pick my nose while I sleep. I didn't believe him so he showed me the video he took of it. He wants to post it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25727

You deserved it

3267

Favorite

By Jim Smith - United States

Today, I went for a run and took my shirt off part way through. The next person I saw was a nine year old girl playing outside her house. She looked at me and said, "Ewwwwww! Gross!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

20259

You deserved it

27621

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, like every day for the past year or so, I went for a walk. And like every time I go for a walk, I got severely winded halfway through. I have no medical issues like asthma, I’m just out of shape. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1101

You deserved it

725

Favorite

By wrecked - United States

Today, I slid on ice and hit another car while driving to work. My car was totalled, and my leg hurt, while the other car had very little damage. Not two minutes later, the salt truck drove by, spraying the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27513

You deserved it

3539

Favorite

By jonas_93 - Canada

Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML

I agree, your life sucks

68922

You deserved it

9148

Favorite

By sorry - United States - Columbus

Blind love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I slightly hesitated when she asked if she was beautiful. I am blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2446

You deserved it

183

Favorite

By Anonymous - 1/3/2020 18:00

This Charming Man

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. It didn't go well since unfortunately he’s the guy I had to remove from the club I’m the bouncer at, and had to report to the police for getting drunk, stroking himself over his pants and taking photos in the ladies toilets. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1808

You deserved it

Favorite

By WTF is all I ask - United States - Mcallen

Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24282

You deserved it

2440

Favorite

By Anonymous - France - Minzier

Today, I went to the gym with my grandma. In the span of an hour, she was hit on more than I ever have been in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36251

You deserved it

4287

Favorite

By thatwas10yearsago - United States - Reston

Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20399

You deserved it

30860

Favorite

By radiationkillz - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44156

You deserved it

7275

Favorite

By ivannooze - United States

Today, the heat rash that has been devouring my side for the last week was revealed to be something much worse: shingles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34611

You deserved it

3026

Favorite

By Cherub - United Kingdom

Today, it's my wedding day. It was meant to be perfect. The bouquet, along with a high pollen count, set my hay fever off. I walked down the aisle in front of 200 people with streaming eyes and a runny nose; I then had a sneezing fit during my vows and blew a large snot bubble. Real attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks

68936

You deserved it

7781

Favorite

By unemployed - United States

Today, as I was bagging groceries, I looked down to see a 6-year-old urinating on my shoes and the floor next to me. I told his mother that he should take her kid to the restroom, only to be told to "mind my own goddamn business." I was later fired for arguing with the customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

155454

You deserved it

7430

Favorite

By Cassandra - United States

Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts. She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32531

You deserved it

12157

Favorite

By thanxguys - United States

Today, I discovered that when my parents offered to help me pay for college, what they really meant is they would get the forms for me to apply for student loans. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29493

You deserved it

4753

Favorite

By panicromanceX3 - United States

Today, my friends and I spent hours on the Disney website playing in Pixie Hollow. We made our own fairies and flew around completing tasks for TinkerBell and her fairy friends. We're in college, and this is how we spent our Saturday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28818

You deserved it

63317

Favorite

By Amy - France

Today, I discovered my boyfriend has a thing for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant though, my roommate is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40084

You deserved it

3543

Favorite

By Mel

Today, I found out the guy I was seeing was married, with a kid, when his wife sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2654

You deserved it

292

Favorite

By friendly_neighbourhood_psycho - Sweden

Today, I was helping some friends put supplies in my crush's car for our picnic. His girlfriend cracked a joke about me, so I just sarcastically laughed and slammed the door shut. Now she has three broken fingers, and I have a reputation as a psychopath. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33248

You deserved it

9330

Favorite

By fijiflu

Today, at work in a call center, I went into my locker to get my pain pills from a recent surgery. When I opened the bottle, half my pills spread all over the floor. My boss walked by and said, "I knew it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

21439

You deserved it

1514

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boss contacted me to come in for a quick meeting. I drove 30 minutes to get to work only to find out she was firing me and wanted my key card back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32869

You deserved it

2905

Favorite

By random - United Kingdom

Comforter

Today, I hooked up with a guy I'm totally in love with. After finishing, he burst into tears about being in love with another girl. I had to comfort him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35423

You deserved it

5378

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By christopherlove | 0

#130860 - Tuesday 21 April 2009 23:24

[quote]I'm a fucking idiot.[/quote] Nope, you're just an idiot.

By Bee123_fml | 0

#10084 - Sunday 1 March 2009 16:48

are you serious?

honestly u deserved that one.....you lost a chance to get laid man.

COMMENTS

By MCart_fml | 0

#1169 - Wednesday 11 February 2009 1:34

#6 thanks for saying everything on my mind. If a girl invites you to her dorm room at 3am, it's usually a good idea to go directly there.

By maiden_girl | 5

#2131 - Saturday 14 February 2009 13:24

LOL @#9... seriously... she said to come over by 3am and you said, "give me a moment while I check my email...?" Hahaha.

By Bee123_fml | 0

#10084 - Sunday 1 March 2009 16:48

are you serious?

honestly u deserved that one.....you lost a chance to get laid man.

By Mamu1977 | 0

#25752 - Wednesday 11 March 2009 3:01

Ha ha * 1,000,000

By x_eyebrows | 0

#74161 - Wednesday 1 April 2009 5:01

You obviously weren't in a big hurry to get over there if you decided to check your e-mail before leaving. So rude, so lame. You deserved that one.

By 3daysgrace | 0

#84946 - Sunday 5 April 2009 21:32

what #9, #5

By Benatron | 0

#86074 - Monday 6 April 2009 4:46

It's called a blackberry/iphone.

Buy one and check as do the nasty.

By christopherlove | 0

#130860 - Tuesday 21 April 2009 23:24

[quote]I'm a fucking idiot.[/quote] Nope, you're just an idiot.

yake12 | 0

#910240 - Wednesday 3 March 2010 7:03

LOL epic win^^

emILYforever | 0

#4266205 - Friday 6 April 2012 11:49

FTW

By 24788 | 6

#156224 - Thursday 30 April 2009 11:42

Did you really need to check your emails before hand?

By Dunne147 | 0

#181243 - Saturday 9 May 2009 5:00

I hope those emails were really fucking important! come on man...just drop everything and go next time.