Love: Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some...

By Princeton - 22/01/2009 20:34 - United States

Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a F*ing idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 766

You deserved it 47 963

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Same thing different taste

By Bilirubin - 20/02/2010 16:22 - United States

Today, at 1am, the girl of my dreams that I've been trying for over three years to date, finally asked me out via SMS. Too bad I was asleep at the time. She now thinks I've rejected her, and will no longer speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 733

You deserved it 3 951

By CollegeFreshman - 11/09/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, I heard a knock on my door and, thinking it was my student adviser, opened it. I was greeted by a drunk girl, who pushed her way into my dorm room, informed me that she lived here last year, and then told me that she lost her virginity in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 611

You deserved it 3 749

By tryon777 - 29/07/2010 00:40 - United States

Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 329

You deserved it 5 092

By hugedissapointment - 09/08/2009 12:43 - United States

Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 932

You deserved it 63 633

Overbearing girlfriend

By Jake - 16/09/2013 19:08 - United States - Albany

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 475

You deserved it 8 259

By snowmon06 - 10/07/2016 04:13

Today, a girl on my Snapchat list posted a story asking for anybody who was awake to talk to her. Me being awake, I took her up on the request. Her response? "Sorry I didn't mean you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 119

You deserved it 1 648

By GDBeast - 09/01/2013 23:55 - United States

Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 467

You deserved it 6 317

I'm a weirdoooooo

By Anonymous - 18/07/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I sent a text to the girl I like, asking if she wanted to "hang out." Autocorrect changed it to "hand out," and she responded by asking what I was handing out. I panicked and replied, "My love." Now she thinks I'm a weirdo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 502

Party hard

By vcarder - 04/10/2013 20:25 - United States - Newton

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 978

You deserved it 43 183

Distance makes the heart grow further away

By Dead_Eye - 27/09/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I turned down an invite to a huge private party that is rarely given to freshmen in college, because I felt bad that I hadn't had a chance to talk to my girlfriend in a couple of days. I called her a couple of hours later. She answered with, "Hey, I'm at a party. I will call you tomorrow?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 717

You deserved it 21 097

christopherlove 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 23:24

[quote]I'm a ******* idiot.[/quote] Nope, you're just an idiot.

Bee123_fml 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 16:48

are you serious? honestly u deserved that one.....you lost a chance to get laid man.

Comments

MCart_fml 0

Wednesday 11 February 2009 1:34

#6 thanks for saying everything on my mind. If a girl invites you to her dorm room at 3am, it's usually a good idea to go directly there.

maiden_girl 5

Saturday 14 February 2009 13:24

LOL @#9... seriously... she said to come over by 3am and you said, "give me a moment while I check my email...?" Hahaha.

Bee123_fml 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 16:48

are you serious? honestly u deserved that one.....you lost a chance to get laid man.

Mamu1977 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 3:01

Ha ha * 1,000,000

x_eyebrows 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 5:01

You obviously weren't in a big hurry to get over there if you decided to check your e-mail before leaving. So rude, so lame. You deserved that one.

3daysgrace 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 21:32

what #9, #5

Benatron 0

Monday 6 April 2009 4:46

It's called a blackberry/iphone. Buy one and check as do the nasty.

christopherlove 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 23:24

[quote]I'm a ******* idiot.[/quote] Nope, you're just an idiot.

yake12 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 7:03

LOL epic win^^

emILYforever 0

Friday 6 April 2012 11:49

FTW

24788 6

Thursday 30 April 2009 11:42

Did you really need to check your emails before hand?

Dunne147 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 5:00

I hope those emails were really ******* important! come on man...just drop everything and go next time.

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 668

You deserved it 39 751

Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 490

You deserved it 3 817

The Top

Today, my girlfriend started insulting me on Facebook. Angry and hurt, I let it all out and insulted her back with her obesity. Turns out it was her brother who used her account to play a "prank" on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 988

You deserved it 20 019

Today, I came home very tired from a bad day at work, and really just wanted to relax on the couch for a while. My cat jumped into my lap, wanting affection. I was petting him, thanking him for his emotional support. He reciprocated by noxiously farting in my face and running away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 180

Today, I'm thinking about cheating on my fiancée with someone who will actually love me, not control me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 1 255

Today, I have put in many job applications and had many interviews for a variety of positions all of which I am highly qualified for. Today, I heard back from all but one that I am overqualified. Welcome to Walmart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 556

You deserved it 951

Today, I had my headphones on while on the bus. I didn't realize how loud the music was till the woman sitting next to me punched me for changing her favorite song and then "ignoring her" when she asked me to put it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 035

You deserved it 9 122

Today, I was talking on the internet about my goal to get back up to a healthy weight. Their responses consisted of, “Uh, don’t you mean DOWN?” No, I meant up. I had a stomach condition for months that made me puke if I so much as thought about food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 137