Today, I was alone in my dorm room rehearsing comments to make in my writing class tomorrow. I grew up with a severe stutter, and rehearsing like this is one of the ways I keep my speech under control. What I didn't plan on was my roommate walking in. I think she now thinks I'm schizophrenic. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was giving a presentation to my college class. I've had a natural stutter my whole life, so I stuttered through the whole thing. My professor tried to hold in her laughter for 15 minutes. FML
Today, my roommate eavesdropped on me singing. When I realized he was there, he said I was "fucking incredible" and asked me to do another song. There's just one issue: I only sing well when I'm alone. The result was predictably bad. If it was possible to literally die of embarrassment, I wouldn't be writing this. FML
Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML
Today, I gave a presentation. My teacher deducted points because I "need to learn how to speak more confidently, because you often stumble over your words." I have a stutter. FML
Today, I was teaching a small group of improv students. I asked one guy to do a monologue, and laughed to myself while he did so. I said, "Sorry, I'm just laughing at the way you're doing it." He then got upset and pointed out that he had a speech impediment. FML
Today, I moved into college and met my new roommate. Not fifteen minutes later, she had told me about the fungus on her feet, and what happens when she forgets to take her anti-psychotic medication, all while picking at her nose and eating the spoils. FML
Today, I have a stutter that gets worse with stress. We got a new supervisor today and the first thing she said to me was, “Either spit it out or write it in an email, for fuck's sake!” I’m now so scared of her, I go almost mute if we’re in the same room. FML
Today, I was practicing a presentation while walking around my apartment. I didn’t realize my neighbor was standing outside my door, listening. When I opened it, he said, “Strong opening, but you lost confidence halfway.” I didn’t ask for notes. FML
Today, I was late for class. I have extreme social anxiety, so I quietly slipped into the huge, packed auditorium, trying to be as quiet as possible. When I was almost to my seat, I accidentally kicked a teacher's coffee down the steps. The entire class looked at me and some clapped. FML
Today, my theatre studies professor played a soundscape, then had us write what we thought the meaning was. I thought it was a simulation of what schizophrenia was like. Turns out the teacher bet her friend she could convince us that a bunch of people speaking gibberish meant something. FML
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Top comments
annetsplayground 2
there is a very simple solution to this. when she walks in on you, pause and say: 'oh hi, i was just rehearsing for my class tomorrow' if she lives with you she probably knows you have a stutter and she'll understand. duh.
ideasrule 13
Tell her about it? Is it so hard for her to believe you have a stutter if you see her every day?
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Comments (76)
phprogrammer 0
Many people rehearse speeches like that. I do it for the same reason.
LastCaress 0
T-t-today junior!
syddyb 0
Adam sandier FtW:D
wolfrahm 0
I hate to tell you this, but I think your roommate is imaginary. Sorry.
Judus_beej 0
I would have just said to her "abadeba abadeba that's all folks!"
katymae1 0
OMG, thank you #38. I'm a psych major and I hate when people compare everyday situations to serious psychological disorders/do it the wrong way. Also, to the OP, 1) it's really not a big deal. 2) you could just explain it to your roommate and i'm sure they would just laugh it off.
lidemocr 0
just explain! anyone with a soul would understand
The_Big_Mac 7
well, see, there's your problem, you've assumed that we all have souls. some may lack in that department. Since we are on the everyone with a should part though assuming and all, your should doesn't determine how much of a damn you give when walking in on someone stuttering a speech to themselves. that's less of a soul issue and more of a what the **** issue. As for the few people mentioning the lack of a mental issue, I agree, the whole oh I look like I have a mental issue gets old everyone has their days like that.
The_Big_Mac 7
that should say everyone with a soul department I'm glad I seem to have issues with proof reading this morning.
RedPillSucks 31
Exactly.
Angele72 0
Lol even if you were talking to yourself ppl do it all the time ppl think I have schizophrenia but I just laugh bout it :P so chill out! Lol its nothing severe.. But good luck with the speech ;)
anorexicbarbie 8
You don't, you're just stupid.
thrAsHeRr9081 16
Throwing stones in a glass house again, I see.
Sammara 0
And too bad you'll never see her again, and will never have the chance to tell her what you were doing! Oh wait.
jackied90x 0
I know exactly how you feel. I also stutter and it's true that accents do help you get more fluent. although I'm horrible at accents lol