Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at work, I felt what I thought was a ball of lint on the back of my neck. I reached back and grabbed it only to end up holding the biggest wolf spider I've ever seen. FML
Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML
Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML
Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML
Today, I was laying out in my backyard trying to get some color when I felt a little tickle on my lips. I rubbed them together to satisfy the itch, when I felt a sort of crunchiness popping between them. I had crushed a spider between my lips and its legs were still moving. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML
Today, I finally conquered my fear of spiders by catching one in a cup and releasing it outside. Feeling proud of my bravery, I proudly showed my accomplishment to my roommate, only to realize it wasn't a spider but a piece of lint. I screamed louder than I would have for a spider. FML
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Top comments
Tuesdays76 0
F the spiders life.
not_funny_at_all 3
Being deadly afraid of spiders myself, I can honestly say FYL:(
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Comments (131)
curegrrrl 0
You didn't notice any crunching?
XxEmoSnowboarder 8
eww FYL im terrified of spiders!!!
SnailJamsss 6
Yuckk. fyl.
cindayy77 0
ickk.. in kindergarten I had a situation like that, I was pulling apart something squishy and I didn't know what it was, when I looked down, it was a dead fly, it was so nasty
fylnotmine89 1
please tell me you found that spider in your belly button?! lol
winstoningram 0
yummy
Iloreanes 0
YDI for touching a dead spider.
redleopard 0
CRUICIOOOO!
blt710 0
haha my thoughts exactly!!
sincerely331 0
How could yu not know that it was a spider? Are yu blind or something? Its comon sense to look at something before yu put it in your hands...dumbass
TheNewGuy03 29
...says the person who can't quite bring themselves to finish the words "you" and "common." |the kid|
mattmadden 0
Call people dumb asses when you stop saying yu. Just reading it sounds like your either lazy or stupid as hell.
stormchaser319 7
I posted one just like this and they choose yours instead? fml