Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML
Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML
Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML
Today, my dad caught me vaping. From the volume of his yelling, you’d think he caught me sniffing cocaine out of a prostitute's ass crack. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
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Top comments
piedpiper303 29
The broke teens guide to getting high
Welshite 40
You've been sniffing pen ink again, haven't you?
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Comments (96)
edward80 18
Maybe he just couldn't afford a fix
Bafrinn 14
He Was Probably Already High. Truly Sorry That You Had To Walk In On This.
Mynamewontfi 40
It's Really Tiring To Type Like This, Also Goes For Reading. I'm seriously wondering why people type like that, care to enlighten?
funkybee 8
@25 I know a friend who Used To Type Like This. One of her friends must have thought it was cool, because her entire friend circle typed like that and she didn't want to feel left out. After a while, it became a habit. Peer pressure, I guess. Fortunately, she stopped.
Mynamewontfi 40
It's weird how the way you type a message can be defined as a cool or uncool way to type.
JuzReading 23
It won't get him high but isn't the ink from a pen poisonous?
Mauskau 36
There was a kid at my school that used to chew pens and pencils to the point that they would explode in his mouth, he's still alive but he's now a drug addict. Hmm?
arandomusernameaa 20
It isn't the ink that is the issue, it is the melting of the plastic which is likely to contain halides (chlorine, fluorine etc...) which are toxic...
Sirmrcrowley 12
I can think of worse things you could've walked in on him holding!!!
Ben009 13
Did he eat a lot of paint chips as a kid?
Baucis 10
New craze, getting inked.
Dumbledora 9
Your username suggests that you've been on this site for a while, haha. It's always the same old spiel. Sometimes, even the best parents have kids that do stupid things. My mom raised me well, but even I had my moments of sheer stupidity when I was younger. Educate your son on the PROPER way to get high. ;P
DeeDeeJay 15
What made him think that would work? I've never heard anybody doing that before.
Attacksloth 33
Daim bramage ruin'd I 'cause of droags. Don't let it not do ruin your sun.
paigexox0 37
...the **** are you trying to say?
BootheGhost 6
I believe he was trying to type as if he had brain damage to warn OP's son of the brain damage he can get from sniffing those fumes.
Attacksloth 33
I believe you are correct and astutely aware of the lackluster humor of my above jest. Good day sir.
classiceagle63 16
He must be fuming with stupidity.