Today, I walked in on my parents necking in the living room. I promptly covered my eyes and muttered something about my innocence being stolen from me. My dad looked up from the couch, and mentioned that he had heard my innocence being stolen by Jake, my boyfriend from 2 years ago. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML
Today, my little sister walked in on me and my boyfriend. I told her I would give her 10$ if she just pretended it never happened. She agreed, walked out and shut the door. Later, when my parents arrived, she yells: "Nicole and Joe were naked upstairs!" FML
Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML
Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend with an older guy who I thought was her dad, I went over to introduce myself. And then turned around and walked away very fast as I saw them make out. My girlfriend is cheating on me with someone as old as my dad. FML
Today, I saw my mom's boyfriend naked. It was only from behind and it was a complete accident but still, ew. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML
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Top comments
shananigans 0
I'm probably the only freak who thought the most interesting part of this FML was the OP's use of the word necking. Oh and your dad wins.
24788 7
I don't know if I approve of you seeing this Jake guy in subject.
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Comments (109)
nonameLiz 0
YDI for being loud. BROWNIE POINTS FOR DAD
suesblues 0
Your Dad for the win!!!
faolbushcraft 0
My daughter decided in high school that she was gay. I had to listen to her and her girlfriend, and they were not quite. They turned up the music, but it was pointed the wrong way, away from the door, so it may have masked the sound for them, but it was a low volume sound to me. Of course, if it had been a guy, he would not have been in her bedroom.
st4tique 1
"Of course, if it had been a guy, he would not have been in her bedroom." Sex with a guy is not ok, but sex with a girl is? Seriously...? What kind of double standards are those?
DJ_Grim 0
GOD I love Idiotic parents.
ellemon 0
I think the reason is probably "a girl won't get her pregnant"
nonameLiz 0
Dude what the hell??
Profkingfish 0
double standards!
lem0n_fml 0
I disagree with everyone shouting double standards here. A girl cannot get his daughter pregnant. However, I do disagree with faolbushcraft's first sentence. "Decided," really? She DECIDED to be gay? It's not a choice, sweetheart.
Trumane 4
not a choice? pray expand that a little more.
Liberace4Life 0
Being gay is not a choice like being straight is not a choice.
britterss 0
why is it bad that your parents are still attracted to each other?? grow up!!!!
me5 0
You loud bitch!!
Drea_Gucci 0
I'm madd they heard you thou! your suppose to do it at the guys house. Lls your dad is tooo cooool
DeathShad0 1
Sounds like dad just pwnd you.
dudeitsdanny 10
But your picture pwns all.
rj9614 0
oh burn lol
Bertha5 0
at least he didnt care. but tht is embarassing. ;)
anonymous45610 0
lmfao