Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML
Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page of an online "Are you lesbian?" quiz. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to blow-dry the sweat off her armpits instead of showering. FML
Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old sister, naked, streaming herself eating a banana. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving her boyfriend's nuts. Apparently, he'd snuck in through her window. FML
Today, I attempted to snoop around my daughter’s room, because I suspect her of having sex with her boyfriend behind my back. Hoping to find the evidence, I went to her room as soon as she left for school. Turns out she rigged her bedroom door. With glitter. Uh oh. FML
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
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Top comments
Darian66 5
I think its time to keep better track of what she is doing online.
sailorzoe 14
Maybe you should try to find her a hobby? Because that one is weird and gross.
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Comments (150)
cavion 3
queef fart
whiplash2289 19
some people should not be allowed on the internet.
Saikon1357 25
"Honey. I just walked in on Megan opening and closing her legs. She said she's trying to queef. Could you please handle this one because I'm not sure how to."
mconionman 6
At least she's honest
ViviMage 40
She needs a cybernanny program. Sorry. When I was that age I barely new I had those parts, nevermind they could queef. If she is obsessed with vaginal farts....
CharresBarkrey 16
When I was 12 I had already attended 2 mandatory sex education classes at school. I find it hard to believe someone, at the age of 12, barely knows they have genitalia.
Zyzz7 12
Seriously? You didnt know anything about your parts at 12? Like 110, I had had multiple Sex ed classes from year 5 to 6. But I already knew alot of it from lookign around in the library, and a little bit on the internet. Were you homeschooled or did you have a learning disability or something? Because thats really odd..
abasham 4
I am genuinely concerned for my generation...
taranpreet 7
I feel like however you respond to her will have a large effect on her sexual future. I would probably die laughing before I started interrogating her about what she watches in her spare time.
lndala 15
At least she was honest. Maybe she will also be this open and honest when she starts exploring other people's genitalia. Hopefully that's a long way from now but maybe it's time to have that talk with her. Good luck OP
MDTeddy 13
Op should tell her that it is not attractive.
FaygoAndMiracles 18
It's really not a good thing to teach your kids to make choices based on what is "attractive" or not.
ajslkdfjalksjf 7
I accidentally queefed when I was like 5