Today, I attempted to snoop around my daughter’s room, because I suspect her of having sex with her boyfriend behind my back. Hoping to find the evidence, I went to her room as soon as she left for school. Turns out she rigged her bedroom door. With glitter. Uh oh. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I have to admit I sometimes snoop in my daughter's room, but she must have realised this because she has started laying booby traps for me. I'm currently in the ER getting fishing hooks removed from my hand after she taped them to a mousetrap and left the mousetrap inside her desk drawer. I deserve it but, FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving her boyfriend's nuts. Apparently, he'd snuck in through her window. FML
Today, after I grounded my barely 18 year-old daughter for having sex with her boyfriend when I found a pack of condoms in her room while cleaning it, she responded by moving out and eloping with him. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter has been stuffing my push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home. She's 9. The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services. FML
Today, I found out my mom has been randomly searching my room. I've asked her repeatedly to stop, but she says it's her right as a parent. In retaliation I started searching their room when they were out, and found porn mags and DVDs. I confronted mom about it. Long story short, dad's in a hotel. What have I done?! FML
Today, like an idiot, I accidentally included stuff I learned from snooping in my daughter's secret diary during a conversation with her. She's not happy at me right now, so I may have to polish off my old grovelling skills from when I was still married to her mom. FML
Today, while going through my daughter’s room, I found a pair of pants with the security tag still attached. My daughter is a thief. FML
Today, I found out my 15 year-old daughter is sexually active. I found out by finding her in our bedroom with a boy from her class, using one of our condoms. Her dad hasn’t spoken or moved from the kitchen table in over 30 minutes. I think he’s so mad his brain glitched and got stuck. FML
Today, my boyfriend woke up to the flash of a camera. It was his mother taking pictures of my shoe print on his window sill and night stand. She said she was collecting evidence proving I snuck in through his window last night. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter making out with a piece of paper with someone from the cast of IT taped to her pillow. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
pbruins84 21
Do you want her to have sex in front of you? Be happy she does it behind your back.
cuz803 46
That's honestly creepy. Are you a religious fanatic that heavily intrudes on your child's life? The most you should ask for is for her to be smart and use protection.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (8)
pbruins84 21
Do you want her to have sex in front of you? Be happy she does it behind your back.
Anderling 33
Play creepy controlling games, win creepy controlling prizes
idragosani 17
Curses, foiled again!
cuz803 46
That's honestly creepy. Are you a religious fanatic that heavily intrudes on your child's life? The most you should ask for is for her to be smart and use protection.
mike3775 39
So why don’t you simply ask her? My god, when I suspected my kids may be having sex, I sat down with them and asked them, instead of invading their privacy. Guess what, I was not lied to either, they either said yes or no.
Vesi 30
Teenagers are going to have sex. Deal with it like an adult. TEACH her how to protect herself from pregnancy and STDs, even supply condoms as needed. Education is needed, not trying to force abstinence. It will never work.
Crowned Sataness 12
ydi. if she's gonna have sex, she's gonna have sex regardless of what you want and she will find a way. you know this, you used to be a teen. maybe have a safety talk with her and make sure she's being safe. and confess your snooping sin and apologize profusely
slkeithh 14
Wrong place to post this, bud. You're a terrible person and an even worse parent. YDI.