Today, I turned 18. My parents remembered that I loved German chocolate cake, so I awoke to a hot, fudge-filled chocolate cake with a slice cut out just for me. I've been lactose-intolerant for 8 years. As I cried, my mom handed me tissues, while eating the "Happy" part of my cake. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my parents brought me an ice cream birthday cake. I would think after 23 years they would remember my lactose intolerance. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My only birthday present was a cake that my dad bought from Walmart. Well, it sure looked tasty. The only problem: it had nuts on it. Guess what I'm highly allergic too? At least my dad told me he'd "tell me how it tastes." FML
Today, my mother turned up drunk at my house with a chocolate cake for my 14th birthday. I'm 27, I haven’t seen her in 6 years, I'm allergic to chocolate, and when she saw that I had 2 kids, she wanted to know why I'd bothered, since kids are always "such a disappointment". FML
Today, my mom told me she is serving lasagna and Italian cream cake at my bridal shower. I'm severely lactose intolerant, which I have been telling her for years. She responded by telling me, and I quote, "The food is for the guests." FML
Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML
Today, it was my 17th birthday. I didn't want my family to spend money on a cake, so my dad made this delicious apple ring. At least, it was great until my mouth began to itch and my throat closed. I have been allergic to nuts since birth, and my dad put walnuts in my birthday cake. FML
Today, it's my 18th birthday. Last month was my best friend's 18th birthday. She spent the night with me, and the next morning, my mom and brother gathered in my room and sang "Happy Birthday" as they handed her pancakes with a candle on top. Today, I was woken up by screams to take the trash out. FML
Today, I turned eighteen. Thinking I was going to get a big present from my parents on this special day, I eagerly unwrapped my present. They got me a bag of M and M's. Last year I got flannel bed sheets. FML
Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML
Today, my family surprised me for my birthday by showing up with a chocolate cake and my ex-boyfriend from back home. They all forgot I'm allergic to chocolate, that I broke up with him about a year ago, and that he’s been trying to win me back ever since. FML
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Top comments
chippa 24
OP discovered a cake that they fell madly in love with 8 or more years ago. 8 years ago, they could no longer have this cake or anything else containing dairy products. Today is their 18th birthday. Their family made OP the previously mentioned cake that OP has not been able to eat for 8 years and still cannot eat. OP cried because they can't eat this delicious birthday cake and evidently, their family doesn't know her very well. OP's mom ate a piece of the cake which had a smiley face or something on it. Do you get it now? It's not that hard to understand...
chippa 24
Dude, who cares about the aftermath, eat it anyway.
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Comments (206)
chippa 24
Yeah, and they obviously didn't put much thought into it.
torrance1221 4
what does being lactose intolerant have to do with your ability to eat cake? I'm lactose intolerant and I'm fine when I eat cake...I don't get it. and why would you cry about it? lol none of this makes any sense to me.
peacelovekat 0
German CHOCOLATE Choco has milk in it !
5t3ff1k4h 47
13- I'm also lactose intolerant, and I, too, can eat cake as well as chocolate bars. There are different severities of the intolerance; it seems like OP's got the worst possible.
trisha101 0
I agree with 13, unless there's whipped cream all over the top there's no reason to cry. even so, just take a pill. if I were there I dunk ur face in it
theprey 0
chocolate as well as most cake batters contains milk which contains lactose which OP is intolerant to. if your fine eating cake you are either not lactose intolerant or the cake did not contain milk.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Did you see the other comment about how heating the milk destroys the makeup of it, therefore making it more tolerable? I've been diagnosed as lactose intolerant by a doctor, yet I can still have yogurt, cream cheese, cake and anything else with small amounts of cooked milk in it... etc.
attatood 8
So, ummm why do you not use "Lactaid" or one of the other readily available on-the-shelf meds for lactose intolerance? They break down the lactose for you. Just take one and eat the friggin cake!
Tweety122888 0
I thought that Lactaod was a brand name of soy milk?
5t3ff1k4h 47
15, some people have a hard time swallowing pills. It says on the bottle to take anywhere between 3 and 6 pills (no more than 6) each time you have dairy.
Galex7471 4
If you have a hard time swallowing pills, they make chewable ones too! My only issue with them is that they're so sickly sweet I feel like I'm eating dehydrated marshmallows.
5t3ff1k4h 47
I haven't come across the chewable ones yet, then. I'd hate the chalky aftertaste... but you're right. Something that sweet doesn't sound overly appetizing.
Stupified 0
Come on pills are easy to swallow. If you need practice swallowing, find a penis.
5t3ff1k4h 47
There's a significant difference between semen (a liquid) and pills (a solid).
Stupified 0
Swallow ice cubes then
Flutist 3
So...suck Jack Frost's dick?
Fresh4416 0
LMFAO, 209 ftw
RoccoRox 0
I'm extremley confused
yummycupcakegirl 0
your cute:)
Independantlove 0
as am I.... @_@
tiff22_fml 0
you are very cute. :)
samglam08 7
Cute :p
jakkanarchy 0
thats a stupid reason to cry
PincheEdgarr 0
uhmm whatthe **** I dnt get it
ElectricGhost_fml 5
I live in Nevada!!!!!!!!! too..... haha
Mylees 0
boring...
emilyk123 0
your moms a bitch
Stupified 0
They don't have lactose free cakes?
ShaneCedt 0
Someone baked you a cake. F your life? Geesh.
jakkanarchy 0
for real. stop bitching and be thankful