Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML
Today, my coworker began flirting with the new guy at work and accepted a date with him. I’ve been trying to get with her for months and she'd told me, “Sorry, I don’t fraternize with colleagues.” I called her out on it and she told me, “OK, I’ll spell it out for you: I do fraternize with attractive colleagues.” FML
Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML
Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML
Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
Today, I went to a social event with a very attractive male co-worker. Things were going awesome, we were flirting and really hitting it off. Then his 'wife' called. FML
Today, my boss admitted she's having an affair. She's married to my brother. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML
Today, a guy was hitting on me when I was at a café. I told him I was married, but it didn't deter him, so I told him to go away. Later, my husband came home from work with his boss for dinner and sure enough, it was the same guy who was hitting on me. Suffice to say, it was one awkward dinner night. FML
Today, while at work, I got fired because I was 'hitting' on my boss's wife who also works in the same company. Since when does 'asking for paper clips' mean 'hitting on'? FML
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Top comments
gonad_gobbler 1
How exactly do you subtly hint that someone is "bangable"?
airforce987 20
OP: "Hey do you like the drums? I used to be the drummer in a band during high school." Receptionist: "Oh yeah?" OP: "Yeah, what can I say? I was pretty good at banging my stick! I mean sticks. You look like you could do with some banging yourself, you know, it's quite relaxing and loosens your muscles." Receptionist: "Really? I guess I'll have to tell my husband, your boss, about that." OP: *O.O*
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Comments (197)
vickynikie 1
Well as long as you know the truth
daskabinette 5
LIKE A BAWS!!
TylerDirty 15
lol that must have been awkward.
sarianna 10
C'mon, dude. Work booty is bad booty, unless you were involved prior to working together. You'd've gotten burned one way or another.
CinnamonBunny 16
Not necessarily true...I'm marrying my former boss next year. Sometimes work booty is good booty. :D
laurapiggy 3
Don't shit where you eat, duh!
annalily5 28
Just how subtle were you? Was it a clear look up and down, finish with a smile type thing? If so that's not bad, there's nothing wrong with friendly flirting so long as you backed off once she told you she was take/uninterested, hopefully your boss will laugh it off or she'll laugh it off and he'll never hear of it. Or are we talking "Hey shwatty, wanna find a janitor's closet ad give him something to clean up" subtle. If the second, you are a idiot. And for future reference, don't use the word "bangable" when looking for sympathy. It makes you seems less the wayward romantic and more the guy with a creepy mustache and binoculars.
Colton15 1
How could you not know that she is married to your boss. She's your co-worker. ******* idiot.
EnduringPlum 7
That's called "sexual harassment" and you'll be lucky if you aren't sued for it, or fired. Unlike what previous posters have said, "a clear look up and down" is NOT work appropriate behavior, especially not with someone who's new on the job. If you wanted to flirt, you should have asked offered to buy her drinks after work, at which point you could have learned weather she was single or not. Next time try thinking for two seconds before doing something so stupid.
Complaining 13
If you fail, don't try again.
TrippingOnAcid 29
That is why you don't hit on people, fool.