Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy at a seafood restaurant. I explained to him that I am deathly allergic to shrimp. When the waiter took my order, he interrupted me and said, “She’ll have the shrimp," while looking me dead in the eye. FML
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
Today, after being a vegetarian for 5 years, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has secretly been feeding me meat. His reason is that he thinks it's "funny" that I still call myself a vegetarian afterwards. FML
Today, my girlfriend of five months told me that she had booked us reservations to our town's Halloween barbecue party. When I reminded her that I'm vegan, she told me she specifically got the reservations to help me to quit my "stupid fad". Weird, I never knew being a devout Hindu was a fad. FML
Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML
Today, I was having a vegetarian meal at my date's house. She was very proud because she grew all the veggies herself; she even made the fertiliser herself. I was halfway through the meal before I asked what she meant by "made her own fertiliser." It was human shit; her own human shit. FML
Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML
Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML
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Top comments
ThatGuyWhoTalks 10
It's ok OP. You obviously have a brain or else you wouldn't have been able to post this.
mollyjynxjax 28
The word she was looking for was pescatarian (the term for someone who eats fish meat but not any other kind of meat). So she was stupid to be arrogant in the first place, and doubly so for getting the term wrong.
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Comments (250)
leary96 15
It is a life choice, and to those who stick to it they have more self control than I, but as you can see in my picture I love meat.
CallMeMcFeelii 13
Especially if they're a herbivore! They eat leaves for Christ sake! That's why all vegetarians have long necks.. It's science!
FuKcMee 32
#dumbbitches
Welshite 39
My friend, Twitter is thataway.
roachan 4
To be absolutely fair to you both there are definitely differences among people in what they consider to be vegetariation. (Regardless of the actual definition is from something like Oxford.) Basically you thought shrimp counted as meat, she obviously didn't or didn't care. And that's okay!
yahoowizard 16
Vegetarianism is the practice of abstaining from the consumption of meat – red meat, poultry, seafoodand the flesh of any other animal; it may also include abstention from by-products of animal slaughter.
domolovesyoshi 33
vegan is abstaining from all meat and by products of meat vegetarian is a little looser with these rules
nevereyes 31
Shrimp is a meat, Hun.
SinovaMikas 10
just as frustrating when people say fish isnt meat
cleopad1 3
I'm a Hindu and in some sects, seafood isn't considered "non-veg". I'm not completely certain as to why, but a few of my friends follow it and it's always seemed a bit shady to me haha
xElitexGamer 5
Well your girlfriend pretty much u look pretty stupid.
Traitoro 9
Your comment did the same to you.
rocker_chick105 31
OP isn't the only one looking stupid here buddy.
ExcitingChives 10
Explain to HER that if she eats seafood, she is actually a peskitarian.
Aleys_fml 21
Someone has to explain to you that you spelled pescatarian wrong.
smokecloud_ 37
OMG SPELLING ERROR ON THE INTERNET KILL IT WITH FIRE
ExcitingChives 10
#56 Sorry. It's not exactly a common word.
mollyjynxjax 28
Okay, 1. She needs to learn the difference between vegetarian and pescatarian if she's going to be like that, and 2. Why is "pescatarian" even a thing? Meat is muscle. You eat the muscle of the fish, so it is fish meat. Just be honest and say you're a selective vegetarian.
DelphiCat 17
No. Pesca is latin/ related to the italian for fish. They eat fish. Only Fish. Vegetarians do not eat fish. "selective vegetarian" is bullshit.
kohler_thanyou 5
well since seafood isnt considered meat... id say its okay. this stupidity actually hurts me.
smokecloud_ 37
How is it not meat? It is animal muscle. It just lives in the sea. The comments on this FML is either full of trolls or idiots. It saddens me.
kohler_thanyou 5
yes fish are animals. but most vegetarians chose it for either health benefits or animal rights. I havent heard of anyone having a heart attack from eating fish or fish being abused like cows and pigs. fish have muscles. just like cows and pigs. but they are completely different to the point where "vegetarians" include it into their diet.
smokecloud_ 37
No that would be pescetarians. :D Animal is animal, don't call yourself vegetarian if you dine on animal flesh. (which I personally enjoy a great deal)
DelphiCat 17
If you haven't heard of fish being abused you haven't been paying attention. You think it's fun being pulled from the sea and slowly suffocating? You think the sheer waste of life involved with all the undesired species which get caught in the nets doesn't constitute cruelty? You think fish farms, places so packed with fish they're constantly breaching the water and they are almost uniformly riddled with mites and other pests and diseases sounds fun? Sure. No one is ever abusive to fish....