Today, I took my first shower in weeks after having had spinal surgery. My sister flushed a toilet. I couldn't reach the nozzle or my cane to get off the shower bench, and all I could do was sit there as scalding hot water sprayed all over me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I finally felt well enough to take an actual shower after having surgery on my back. It took five minutes to stand up, ten minutes to get to the shower, and another ten minutes to get in. The pilot light went out in less than five minutes. FML
Today, I was taking a shower, facing away from the faucet, when I dropped the soap. When I bent over to pick up the soap, my sister flushed a toilet in the next room, causing hot water to scorch my anus. I got made my shower's bitch, FML
Today, I was taking a shower for the first time in my new apartment. The shower head broke off the wall and slammed onto my head, while spraying water everywhere. I tried to stop the water, but only stopped the cold and got burnt by the hot. FML
Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML
Today, I was using a disabled toilet. I'm disabled partly because of spinal problems. While I was doing my business, the whole toilet fell to the floor, leaving me sitting in a puddle of my own urine and smashed porcelain, with even more spinal problems. FML
Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML
Today, I am recovering from surgery, so even though my mom could burn cold water, I was forced to let her cook for me. Thanks to her cooking, I’ve now shit my body weight in brown water, and I need her help to get on the toilet. She doesn’t always get me there in time. FML
Today, my sister and I had a huge fight because I flushed the toilet while she was taking a bath. The faucet for the bath was not running, but she insisted that she felt the water in the tub turn "scalding hot." She won't listen when I try to explain to her that it doesn't work like that. FML
Today, I was taking a warm shower when someone in my house flushed the toilet, making the shower extremely hot. In my rush to get out so I wouldn't get burned, I slipped and knocked a tooth out. FML
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
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Top comments
Jasonf6 0
Your sister is a ******* asshole. Get her back.
UrNuckinFuts 0
Slap her with your cane till she needs surgery too!
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Comments (159)
hahahaidontgetit_fml 5
how can anyone say YDI? FYL Op...
Petronix 5
Because it's FML. There will always be someone out there to click the YDI...always.
Namerkp2 8
******* trolls...
nublets 12
Hey 67.. You mad? XD
micahsmommy 13
Those canes have a tendency to trip and whack evil sisters over the head at random times...not your fault, it was the cane. :) hope you feel better OP.
EduJav321 24
People dont kill people, canes kill people
hellonyancat 6
She might not have meant it. For most people flushing the toilet after they go is a habit by now. FYL regardless for needing spinal surgery, getting scalded and having crappy plumbing.
ICATiger 13
Next time she's in the shower. You know what to do.....
Furrywhiplash 14
Wack her in the spine with the cane?
ninjuh_wingman 29
I would be ******* pissed at her.
viticomanuel 0
You don't say !!
ktrzaska13 0
The same thing happened to my dad yesterday
kimmi41509 10
How does the OP deserve this? You assholes who pressed YDI should have that cane shoved up your asses.
THE_A_TEEN 28
If you're DocBastard, and you have glass Coke bottles or broken vibrators, then you're ok. But seriously, she/he was ptobably joking about his/her dispair about the "YDI" trolls. Chiil out...
THE_A_TEEN 28
If you're DocBastard, and you have glass Coke bottles or broken vibrators, then you're ok. But seriously, she/he was probably joking with his/her dispair about the "YDI" trolls. Chiil out...
Namerkp2 8
Perhaps OP is a reincarnation of Hitler, I'd think he'd deserve it then because seriously, **** hitler.
THE_A_TEEN 28
^Big assumption there, buddy. No need to bring personal shit into this... |Stalin's ghost|
Namerkp2 8
< You mad Stalin?
liv4theearth 13
This is probably the funniest FML I've ever read!! xD
2ndSucks 15
You have a rather twisted sense of humor, don't you?
perdix 31
How many have you read? If the number > 1, you're a freak!
Birdie_Sage 0
Noob...
liv4theearth 13
Haha, perhaps I read it wrong, but it's still quite hilarious to me.
KayleeBeth 0
Wow, I hope the best for you and your spine and get your sister back! I was wondering how bad does your spine hurt after the surgery on 1-10 scale cause I have to have it June 13th 2012. I'm just wondering? If anyone could answer this. Lol (:
megmich 4
probably 10 for me but I'm a baby!
Michael912 3
I had surgery and trust me it hurts first couple of days of course they give you pain meds and after first couple days and after you get out of the hospital it's not as bad if your a teen like me it heals quicker
miami_bb6 0
Morphine and oxycodone will be your friends for a while therapy is Going to suck...never had spinal surgery know my dad had a couple herniated discs and yeah..no fun...when I had shoulder surgery it sucked balls but oxycodone helped like hell
alliebaba7 8
My dad had spine surgery and he said it hurt 8- 10
mommapanda 0
25-I had my spine surgery in May 2011. My pain tolerances are a bit high, but there were moments after my surgery that I wanted to cry. I kept reminding myself that the pain was worth it if I ended up being able to walk on my own again. Happy note, I've been pain free since mid-June and walking on my own since the week after my surgery!
DocBastard 40
Just drown your sorrow in Percocet as soon as your skin stops blistering.
TheDrifter 24
Half a vicodin and a shot of captain morgan. Sail away from your troubles.