Miscellaneous: Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards,...

By Anonymous - 20/12/2014 14:41 - Australia - Edgecliff

Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 088

You deserved it 2 893

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/08/2014 15:38 - United States - Hightstown

Today, after moving into my new house, I woke up to strange sounds coming from the kitchen. I panicked and started sobbing, convinced it was either a robbery or a home invasion. Turned out it was just my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 898

You deserved it 12 530

By DeadlyKitten - 20/02/2017 05:00 - United States - Springfield

Today, my cat followed me into the bathroom. While I was showering, he knocked over the storage shelf behind the toilet. The shelf was the perfect length to wedge the shower door completely closed. No one was home so I had to climb over my tall shower door all slippery and naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 151

You deserved it 714

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - 11/06/2021 16:01

Today, I experienced the fright of a lifetime when I woke up and heard my bedroom door opening. Fearing that there was an intruder, I picked up a bat and opened the door, ready to whack the mystery intruder. There was no one there. No one, except my cat, who apparently knows how to open doors now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 127

By catlady - 01/03/2009 20:36 - United States

Today, my cat was in the bathroom when I was undressing to get into the shower. I realized that he was the only male to have seen me naked in the past two months. Then he started scratching the door for me to let him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 630

You deserved it 9 055

Haunted house

By Anonymous - 19/12/2020 16:58 - Germany

Today, I jumped when, after being home alone for days, I suddenly saw the door handle move. Apparently, the cats weren't happy about being locked out of the kitchen and were pretty close to figuring things out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 172

By MoncaBang - 29/01/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 670

You deserved it 3 440

Who goes there?

By dontbadouche - 01/02/2010 13:45 - Senegal

Today, I heard the sound of footsteps in the basement. Thinking it was burglars I grabbed a baseball bat and hurried down the stairs. I then tripped on the stairs, fell down them and smacked my head on the bat. The sound of footsteps I heard? It was my cat playing in some cardboard boxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 734

You deserved it 7 261

Cat people

By I’ll never see them again - 13/10/2022 08:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my cat tried to escape when I opened my front door. I noticed that whenever I start babbling and making random sounds, he stops dead and just stares at me in confusion, before walking back in. With my luck, however, this time my neighbor heard everything. They walked quickly away, as if they'd seen a ghost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 201

By Zack - 01/04/2012 21:36 - United States - Duncannon

Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 746

You deserved it 26 494

By Anonymous - 18/12/2015 11:40 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I woke up to noises from downstairs. I practically pissed my pants and called the cops. Turned out it was just my cat being a dickhead in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 727

You deserved it 5 806

Joshery 14

Saturday 20 December 2014 23:52

Maybe it ran upstairs before you saw it in the bedroom

MzZombicidal 36

Saturday 20 December 2014 23:52

Only valid action is to hide under the sheets. Nothing can get you there. :P But seriously, I'd call the cops. You can never be too careful!

Comments

xluciferx666 21

Sunday 21 December 2014 0:12

Time to hop on the nope train and peace the hell out of that place cause next thing you know you are getting eaten by ghost children

stephypop 13

Friday 26 December 2014 5:39

Sinister?

False_Stupidity 41

Sunday 21 December 2014 0:15

The real question here is, aside from the cat, do you live alone or are there others in the house? If there are others then it's just creepy, if your alone then it's just spooky. Or you have a ninja level spy cat who was pretending to be asleep on your bed.

FrankHotpants 31

Sunday 21 December 2014 0:19

Don't rule the cat out just yet, those things are sneaky

Danielle_2598 9

Sunday 21 December 2014 0:21

Get the hell outta there

tylerjay1013 9

Sunday 21 December 2014 0:27

So the only possible thing to do is get on my phone and post this to fml. Right

Sista92359 24

Sunday 21 December 2014 1:22

Indian burial grounds? :D

aedar 16

Sunday 21 December 2014 1:30

Ok now we need to know if you live with anybody (family, housemates,...) or if you live alone. If you truly live alone I have only one thing to say: "Run *input name*, run!!!"