Kids: Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response...

By Baby eater - 20/05/2014 00:00 - United States - Clarksville

Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response was to attack me with a stick "for swallowing a baby." Three people had to pull him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 498

You deserved it 5 830

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Same thing different taste

This boy

By GirlinGreen - 30/04/2009 01:34 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a four year-old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me, and that I should go die and never come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 444

You deserved it 18 509

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 546

You deserved it 4 689

By poormom - 27/06/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 080

You deserved it 28 903

Straight to jail

By anon - 15/07/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 998

You deserved it 70 934

By Anonymous - 16/09/2014 17:44 - Netherlands - Haarlem

Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 017

You deserved it 5 261

By mandy - 10/04/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 269

You deserved it 3 557

Not her fault neither mine

By Shut up loser! - 02/12/2019 03:00

Today, my 4 year old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 521

You deserved it 461

By imnotastranger - 09/05/2014 03:01

Today, I was teaching my 4 year old daughter how to use "stranger danger". Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 617

You deserved it 6 929

Hellooooo, Social Services?

By whatisthisshit - 17/03/2017 00:00

Today, I spent two hours convincing my 3-year-old son that he can't poop on his 4-month-old brother out of retaliation for the baby pooping on him. He did it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 459

You deserved it 712

Rite of passage

By tortilla - 28/11/2020 16:58 - United States - Petaluma

Today, I got punched after telling my 11-year-old cousin that her period is "coming for her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 1 244

omgitsmoe 26

Tuesday 20 May 2014 11:01

Why did you eat that baby ?

froggyjade 16

Tuesday 20 May 2014 11:02

3 people? That's one strong 4 year old

Comments

8oded8 8

Wednesday 21 May 2014 21:20

I'm guessing that the baby wasn't the only thing you swallowed

BooItsLauren 4

Wednesday 21 May 2014 23:58

Why would you tell your four year old neighbor? Congrats anyways:)

grapefruit_hd 7

Thursday 22 May 2014 1:52

My brother thought the same thing when he was younger. You get pregnant from eating a baby

Tannasgh 22

Thursday 22 May 2014 6:07

Idiot child...

mikaellikestacos 14

Thursday 22 May 2014 6:39

I hope the baby is ok

sempisaviour 17

Thursday 22 May 2014 7:42

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

lina21 12

Thursday 22 May 2014 8:19

That's a scary ass 4 year old. Hopefully it will just be a bizarre, but funny story when he's older and not a precursor

dDailydDosage 8

Thursday 22 May 2014 15:57

Kinda cute in a creepy way... Lil people got to stick together!

CarouselHeart 11

Thursday 22 May 2014 20:23

That is not cool. I would have smacked it. FYL.

ruxtain 15

Friday 23 May 2014 5:13

Kids are imaginary

Keywords

Music Boredom Transportation Annoying Embarrassing Awkward Cars Family Babysitter Relatable Kids Money Thief Miscellaneous Food Farts Gross Health Depression Mental health Weird Creepy Pregnancy AITA Social Media Facebook Star Wars Wanker Work Bodyshaming

The Top

Today, I was at the grocery store when I bumped into my ex. Trying to be polite, I asked how she was doing, only for her to reply, "Great, thanks! I'm actually getting married next month." Meanwhile, I was standing there in a Garfield t-shirt clutching a carton of Ben & Jerry's and a bottle of cheap wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 171

Today, I met up with a guy from Bumble for a first date. An hour in, he asks me, "What's your take on body odor?" He proceeds to tell me about his intimate relationship with his body odor and how his armpits take on the scents of his lovers' lady bits. He added that the "essence" of his ex often returns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 67

The Top

Today, I was telling my friends that I'd gotten a paid position to cover a worker's bereavement leave for the next three weeks. They then called me an insensitive bitch for "profiting from someone else's misfortune." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 609

You deserved it 2 855

Today, my cat knocked over a cup of scalding hot tea - but don't worry, the carpet wasn't damaged. It went all over my leg instead leaving a nice big scar for my holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 675

You deserved it 4 391

Today, after getting a new haircut, I decided to take a few photos. I set up my iPhone in my room and began posing. It wasn't until numerous shots later that I realized my phone had posted every picture to Facebook, and they were all over everyone's newsfeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 518

You deserved it 45 732

Today, as usual, my mother had wine when she has the next day off. Three bottles deep, she started talking about an Indian burial ground that haunts the house, and she knows this because they talk to her in her dreams, so she is right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 93

Today, I finally met the cute guy I've been seeing around town. Bad news is, I was drunk off my ass, and when he told me his name, I burst out laughing because it's the same as my puppy's. He did not take it well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 335

You deserved it 37 322

Today, my friend was complaining about how she did not like Mexican food. Confused, I asked her whether she had even had Mexican food, to which she replied, “Yeah, I mean I’ve had Taco Bell.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 134

You deserved it 256