By notmarryingyou - 10/09/2014 17:16 - United States - Bothell

Today, I started a new job. Three of my Kenyan coworkers keep getting together and reminding me that having more than one wife is okay in their country. I've gotten 3 marriage proposals from married men so far. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 997
You deserved it 3 424

Same thing different taste

Top comments

well thats officially ****** up. maybe go to your boss about this? or HR?

AnOriginalName 19

I would tell you to run away, but no matter how far or fast you run, they'll probably still catch up to you.


well thats officially ****** up. maybe go to your boss about this? or HR?

It sounds more like everyone's just joking around to me. But if it does bother you and after asking them to stop they haven't, then talk to your boss or HR.

jojimugo 20

Speaking as a Kenyan let me first apologize on behalf on my brothers second ..... Runnnnn

Epikatz 22

Run? Faster than three Kenyans? ... Is that possible?

Haha! Maybe situations like this is the reason why they are such amazing runners!

I don't think you know what a trophy wife is. It's generally a younger pretty woman who marries and older man. Marrying a younger woman like this is a "symbol" for a man's social status. In this case it sounds like these men believe in Polygamy, marrying more than one woman.

Being somebody's plaything isn't a compliment.

mary_13 26

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Ambrily 27

#70, I agree with your comment, but not with your grammar.

mary_13 26

#78 Thank you but I don't care about grammar I just wanted to get my point across even thou these people don't want to hear it, but thanks for agreeing with me even thou everyone is going to down vote you and me. They just judge everything with out understanding it which is sad really but true.

Bigfabthetruth52 22

who even said anything about them being old men they're just stated as three Kenyan men.The main thing to be worried about really in this situation is polygamy, i would think,not being someone's trophy wife but being their 4th wife.

#70 I love the fact that you just said that she shouldn't assume Kenyan husbands to be a certain way, but you had absolutely no problem saying that American guys are assholes.

Red_Ninja_20 5
mary_13 26

Okay #89 did I say all American guy's are assholes no I said "the typical asshole dudes from the U.S." which in this case I was stating that when ever a guy from here does the same thing it's not because the have different belief's it's because they are cheaters who just can't be in a committed relationship usually, but really thank you for getting to the real issue here not the fact that there are other cultures beside's our's that may be different but that doesn't make them horrible people no of course not it's picking apart all the little things in my comment. Good for you man, nice job being so understanding.

TiaBug 13

Omg, #101, just stop. Please.

mary_13 26

#104 your right it's pointless/not worth my time.

On the bright side, you are desirable! If it gets too much, talk to the boss

AnOriginalName 19

I would tell you to run away, but no matter how far or fast you run, they'll probably still catch up to you.

Totally reminds me of Identity Theft... "What do I look like, a ****** Kenyan?" I think they would definitely catch up with op.

Remember that different countries have different values on marriage. It's still a little weird though OP but at least they think you are disrable. Hopefully they finally get the message you're not into that!.

Well, in THIS country (US), that's harassment. An employee can easily get fired for it and companies have been sued over it.

While it may not be accepted here, it is still where their roots came from and they aren't going to forget that. Yes it may be wrong of them to bring it up, but that's the same as visiting another country and practicing your beliefs. Is a catholic going to stop praying because they are in a country that doesn't believe in the same god? Is a muslim going to stop wearing his turban because he moved to North America? No. People need to accept that not all religions and views are the same.

You are right but this is her CO-WORKERS! They are working for the company and if the company is decent, their policy should identify this as sexual harassment. OP clearly dislikes the guys' proposal and intentions. There is an expression "when you go to Rome, eat like the Romans do." You can't go to another country and expect them to follow your damn belief. It's like trying to force someone to act like you. In fact, you can't expect OP to follow the guys' tradition when they are in her own country... Are you craZy?

I was'nt saying OP should follow their belief. And yes if she does have a problem she should try and solve it and if she feels harrassed she should speak up. But You're missing my whole point. When we go to other countries its okay to continue with our beliefs when its strange to the natives of that territory. But when they come here and do the same everyone freaks out. Why can't we all accept that not everyone has the same idea of living?

Harassment? Yes. Sexual harassment? No. Op never said they touched her or anything like that so this is just harassment.

sexual harassment doesn't have to be physical, if you say sexual things to someone, it's still sexual harassment

PoisonOrchid 21

It sounds to me like this is more of them joking around than a serious proposal. I think they are using an aspect of their native culture to playfully make a pass at and tease OP since she is the new woman in the office, not legitimately expressing their desire to marry her. I'm sure they are aware of our country and cultures stance on marriage and monogamy. It doesn't sound like they are "fresh off the boat." If it bothers OP. she needs to say something to them and, if they don't stop, then go to HR.

I agree with 51, it sounds like they're joking, and if so it's funny and they're just trying to break the ice etc. I wouldn't get too upset over it. Of course if it does bother you, tell them. But to me it sounds like they're joking and good guys.

Llama_Face89 33

Whether they're joking or not, if OP is uncomfortable it's sexual harassment. How do people still not get this these days?

mary_13 26

#67 Honestly I think they can be way too strict about this harassment shit like saying hay you look really pretty today can be considered harassment I don't think it is. I would not mind at all if someone said I looked pretty but I bet your the type that would go crazy about it. It annoys me that people get so crazy about that now, don't get me wrong there are some situations that all these laws about it come in handy, but too many people go overboard with it and the way it is now people can get fired for the most ridiculous reasons.

iAmPaul 49

#29 Muslims don't wear turbans.

No.80, different branches of the Muslim religion do actually wear turbans. Not all, but some still do. Know your religions before you comment.

It's harassment if they keep on doing it; she shouldn't have to keep on telling them to stop. This has nothing to do with culture; it's disrespectful and annoying.

I would report them to HR if I were you. That's harassment, not flattery.

How is that harassment. If a guy was hit on by some female coworkers, do you honestly think the response on here would be the same?

squideth 18

Yep. If anyone of any gender is uncomfortable by advances and comments from a coworker, regardless of how "joking" it is, it's harassment if they don't stop.

Well, maybe if they were attractive enough... Just kidding. I'm sorry that is so frustrating OP.

Look on the bright side! Three men want you :D take it as a compliment

How is it a compliment if the attention isn't wanted in the first place?

See the funny thing about females, especially the attractive ones, is that there are a lot more than 3 guys who find them desirable at any given time and most any given place. So it's not really a big plus.

sweetnsourrr 11

Speaking from experience... its annoying. ahaha.

mary_13 26

I agree with you #8 I'm just the type of person to just laugh about it and not get so worked up over nothing.

I would say "At least you're attractive" but that's already been said. Decline their proposals and don't give them the time of day if they're trying to have an affair with you.

They aren't trying to have an affair with OP/their wives, their belief is to marry more than one woman.

mary_13 26

#15 It's pointless to try and reason with these people they just don't get that there are other ways of life and that does not mean that they aren't good people or they want to cheat it just means they have different beliefs.