Health: Today, I spent all day and last night in the bathroom. The seafood...

By Anonymous - 12/03/2010 21:44 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent all day and last night in the bathroom. The seafood I'd been keeping in the refrigerator apparently had gone bad, and is now intent on finding its every possible route to the Great Porcelain Whirlpool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 970

You deserved it 8 211

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Same thing different taste

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 462

You deserved it 11 666

Food for thought

By that’s what you get - 05/08/2020 17:02

Today, I warned my husband not to eat the seafood he'd left on the counter. He insisted it was fine. He’s now been in the bathroom shitting, puking and wailing for three hours. Our place is tiny and the bathroom is attached to our bedroom. The door doesn’t keep out the noise or the rancid smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 986

You deserved it 211

By fuuuuuh - 20/07/2012 05:47 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 802

You deserved it 30 952

Get rid of the evidence!

By Anonymous - 18/08/2020 17:11

Today, while my roommate was taking a bath, I became horribly sick out of nowhere. Since the bathroom was occupied, I ended up having explosive diarrhea in an Amazon box in my bedroom, which I immediately ran out to the dumpster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 675

You deserved it 160

Stuck

By notmansbestfriend - 12/08/2013 16:09 - United States - Williamsburg

Today, I was stuck on the toilet for hours after eating some questionable seafood. During this time, I watched through the open door as my dog destroyed the nice shoes I just bought, as well as the tux I rented for my sister's wedding. The wedding is in 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 293

You deserved it 7 860

By ohray - 11/12/2014 16:09 - Turkey - Kibris

Today, I popped into the shower hoping to come out all warm and clean. Something was very wrong with the pipes, and I came out smelling like sewage instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 527

You deserved it 3 120

By shroooms - 28/07/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 740

You deserved it 3 078

By Anonymous - 12/02/2013 18:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 333

You deserved it 3 326

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 503

You deserved it 4 815

By shittysituation - 05/01/2015 06:27 - United States - Milpitas

Today, I came back from break to find that my roommate had been shitting in the bathtub for the entire 2 weeks I had been gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 550

You deserved it 3 136

RoxyRaccoon 4

Saturday 13 March 2010 2:34

I love the way this was worded. :}D

XxKeLs3yxX 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 2:28

that sucks

Comments

flightsimdude 5

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:35

I call it the Great White Round One

southsideohyeah 5

Sunday 27 May 2012 4:08

You mean the potty

AEady15 3

Wednesday 29 August 2012 8:23

Poetic way of puting it.

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The Top

Today, my aunt brought me a birthday present. I quickly figured out that she'd simply returned the jacket I let her borrow two years ago for my brother's graduation party. It reeks of cigarette smoke and alcohol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 565

You deserved it 1 777

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of four years. She took the opportunity to tell me that she's pregnant. With my half-brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 421

You deserved it 282

Today, at a party, I tried to play it cool by pretending to know all the lyrics to a song, but ended up singing the wrong words and embarrassing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 1 061

Today, like every day, I made myself some coffee with my Keurig, but today I discovered a lot of mold growing inside it. I guess that explains why I've been so sick and feel like my lungs have been on fire the last few weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 908

You deserved it 2 035

Today, I had dinner with my family in celebration of my 19th Birthday. I've been hinting that I need a new laptop for months now and I was sure my family had bought me one. I have got a pair of slipper socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 077

You deserved it 9 751

Today, a small fly was harassing my face, then it landed on a book next to me. I waved at it to make it leave, but it didn't. I got my fingers closer to it, to scare it off. Instead, it jumped on my finger as a playful parrot pet, spent a moment there, and flew off. I cannot even intimidate a fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 208