Today, I sneaked off work early. As I was in the elevator on the way down to leave, it stopped at my boss's floor, and he got in. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I snuck out of work 2 hours early. As I was speeding away so I wouldn't be seen, I rear-ended my boss as he was leaving the lower parking lot for a late lunch. FML
Today, my boss left early, so I decided to take an extended break and run home. I found my wife in bed with my boss. I got fired for leaving work. FML
Today, moments after leaving early, my boss emails me asking if I'm in the office. After an illegal U-turn, running a stop sign, parking in a visitor spot, and sneaking back to my desk, I find out she was locked out of the building but had since found her keys and let herself back in. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML
Today, I was late for work and sprinted to catch the elevator. I made it just in time, only to realize I was in the elevator alone and had just dramatically dived into it for no reason. FML
Today, during work hours, I took time off and discreetly went for an interview for a prospective job at our rival company. As soon as I reached the place, I bumped into my current boss. FML
Today, I tried to sneak out of work 15 minutes early. Just as I reached the exit, the fire alarm went off. Everyone had to evacuate, and my manager spotted me standing outside with my backpack already on. There went my excuse… FML
Today, I fell asleep while on the toilet at work. When I woke up, I tried to quietly sneak back to my desk, only to be caught by my boss. He immediately sent me packing and gave his "best wishes" for me in the unemployment line. FML
Today, my boss phoned me and asked me why I wasn't at work. I was in the staff room. I'd said hello to her as I came in the door. FML
Today, 30 minutes before I was supposed to quit work at 6pm, my boss showed up. After telling him how the day went, he asked why I was still there. Apparently, for the holiday, we close early. 4 hours earlier. FML
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Top comments
ICATiger 13
Elevarors are not a very sneaky way of leaving work......
taytaylal 11
Ydi. Don't go on the elevator, you go down the stairs.
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Comments (122)
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
Should of parachuted off the building. You need to think before you do stuff!
Redoxx_fml 22
Need a moment?
sparkrok 8
chew it over with twix!
DocBastard 40
If you were my employee and I caught you kicking off early, I'd walk you right to your car and away from my business forever. Leaving work early is stealing, asshole. Did you ever think of that, or were you too busy plotting your afternoon "off"?
5t3ff1k4h 47
Doc - Fair enough, but what if they were required to clock their hours, and OP was honest on the time card about what time they left? If they were scheduled until 5 but left at 4 and recorded it as such, there would be nothing paid for the time absent, so I don't see it as stealing. Being stupid, yes. Not stealing in that case.
piccalo 4
That's a bit rude..May be OP got an urgent problem which he can't mention to the boss.
blegehlehgleh 0
You just crapped your pants?
piccalo 4
You just got strong urge to **** ur wife..or you are on drugs and ur kit got empty...nice examples?..no?..ok..
DocBastard 40
Steff - that's a big assumption on your part, especially considering OP refers to it as sneaking off.
Squeaky_Tomato 14
@21 lots of employees now are "salaried" meaning they do not get paid by the hour. Therefore, leaving work early is stealing.
dladkins01 0
Actually sweetie when your on salary you usually work more than the minimum hours required. Now that's not stealing. Just fair. :)
desireev 18
Leaving from a scheduled job that you're getting paid to do is stealing. There are no questions about it! Salary or hourly.. It's still stealing! And even if OP was to clock out then sneak off, then OP just took away precious time from the boss. Some other man who's desperate to feed his family really would have liked to work that hour that OP dipped out on. (Hour being an assumed time frame.) OP, you are irresponsible and you don't deserve your employment if you're going to sneak off from your workplace. Regardless of circumstances, you 'sneaking off' is stealing!
downtime 13
19, That's one way of looking at it, alternatively you could acknowledge that the average employee works overtime above and beyond what they are paid for, as such it is actually reimbursement for time. Besides, with work life taking over our lives these days most people do require time off every now and then just to get things done. Fortunately for myself I work in a relaxed environment where they allow us to leave if necessary, as they acknowledge we are making up the time in other ways, and that people have other things outside of work they need to take care of every now and then. It really depends on the environment this person works in, if its a strict workplace where they don't allow you time off for any reason that isn't illness, and you only get a minimal break every day, I'd say go for it so long as you've ensured you have completed all your work for the day. If you're sneaking off because you're lazy and have no real need to leave, then you're just an idiot. TLDR.
5t3ff1k4h 47
This is why you take the stairs.
tony50 0
Next time rethink ur getaway idiot
stephanieeDawnx 0
I want a getaway idiot.......
JukeboxValkyrie 19
*Today, I snuck out of work early.
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
The nazis have arrived.
Anai08 17
What's funny is that I read the fml like this, and had to look back at it to realize it was grammatically incorrect ^_^"
dmblonde 13
Yea, that was bugging me too.
superminty 18
Sneaked can be used as well, depending on where you're from.
RedPillSucks 33
This is when you ask with a straight face "Are you skipping out early too?" Keep walking and don't look back.
T1A2Z3 35
Like into the lift door?
loserman67 36
Not a very crafty devil are you. Thank god you're not a part of Seal Team 6. Bin Laden would still be sitting there watching the Simpsons. "Hang on guys, let me ring the doorbell and see if anyone is home first." Next time use the stairs.
OfficeNinja 5
That is why I use the stairs.
erockinthesuburb 17
You should've pulled a Bruce Willis and climbed up the elevator shaft.
piccalo 4
Bruce Willis sucks..
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
37 blasphemy!!!