Today, I saw my mom changing the expiry date on milk. She genuinely thought this would make the milk sour later. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mother decided to inform me that she doesn't believe canned food can have an expiry date and that the food is still okay to eat years after the 'supposed' expiry date. She's probably been cooking my dinner with expired food for over 17 years. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML
Today, I really wanted something to drink. I looked in the fridge, and found some of my grandma's soy milk. I took a swig, and instead of tasting soy, I tasted something rotten. Turns out my grandma knows I drink her soy milk, so she swapped it with expired chicken broth. FML
Today, I was pouring milk into my coffee and, as it plooped into my mug, I noticed the expiration date on the jug passed two weeks ago. Nobody here drinks milk very often and I ran out of creamer, so I've been unknowingly drinking my coffee with curdled milk for the past three days. FML
Today, I discovered why the milk in my house has a funny, sweet taste. My family has been pouring the leftover milk from their cereal back into the carton. FML
Today, I learned that instead of discarding expired products at my work, we change the label to make them 'expire' later. FML
Today, I cleaned out the fridge for my mother. I didn't throw out a single thing that was less than a month past its expiration. Instead of thanks, she complained about everything that I threw away being still good, including a tub of butter that had been expired for two years. FML
Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML
Today, my roommate thought that "sour milk" would taste like sour candy. She left a jug of milk out for two days, then took a huge gulp, vomited everywhere, and dropped the jug. Now the kitchen stinks of rotten dairy. FML
Today, while my mom was out, my family agreed upon the assumption that she has a "shopping problem." I argued against it for quite a while, until she pulled up minutes later with a what seemed like a life-time supply of canned condensed milk. FML
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Top comments
Poopolicious 5
Change her birth date... She"ll age slower =}
boating_guy 33
Really? Wanting someone's mom dead is pretty harsh...
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Comments (181)
daydreamer244 13
Well was she using a magic marker?
Skittlepickle 13
I once had a milk cartoon at school that was expired....for 7 years. Don't drink it OP, it'll do some strange things to a person...
Calyx_fml 22
OP, you share half her genome.
hecallsmedarlin 7
103- I have seen gallons of milk that have both the sell date and expiration date printed on the jug. Now that I think about it, think that has always been?
Megan98 18
She sounds so........ Uhm nevermind.
efemel94 7
These jokes are so cheesey.
isaact89 4
thats awful :s
JubileeBee 31
She sounds like my mom. My mom actually thought the movie the Ten Commandments was filmed when it actually happened.
SkoomaKi 28
Smartest woman alive so far ;)
aeriemakenzie 4
How did that taste!?(;