Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I tried to flirt with the cute cashier at my usual drive-thru. Instead of saying, "Thank you," I panicked and said, "I love you." Now I have to find a new favorite burger place. FML
Today, I had a customer propose to me. I work at Taco Bell. FML
Today, a man from across the bar looked at me, pointed, and said "MMMM, now THAT'S what I want." Offended, I confronted him to tell him I felt disrespected by him referring to me as 'that.' Turns out, he was pointing to the cheeseburger that the waitress behind me was holding. FML
Today, I was on cloud nine when the beautiful waitress I frequently ordered takeaways from told me she didn't need to take my name as she remembers me from before. When I got my food, I saw the sales slip. On it she had written, "Cheeseburger - Fries - Coke - Nerdy guy with bad haircut." FML
Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML
Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML
Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML
Today, while checking out a couple at work, I handed them their receipt and wished them a good day. The woman promptly pulled her husband to the side, and whispered to him about how much of a "fucking idiot" I was for making the prices so high. I work at McDonald's. FML
Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I was berated by a customer for a good two minutes. It's okay though because she ended with, "Sorry, I forget you all are real people." FML
Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML
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Top comments
Queensland 27
He's lovin' it.
lil_ham1644 29
Sweet promises? What, like "I promise it'll be over soon, you just look so tasty I could eat you up."
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Comments (88)
bigbob92 6
Must be a good cheeseburger.
penguin2000 2
That reminds me of that spongebob episode with the nasty patty and....omg what am I doing with my life
ThunderTheRad 14
Spongebob, is that you?
Angelastic_fml 18
Was he singing 'His Cheeseburger' from VeggieTales?
mosquito19 14
was he eating it or ******* it?
chrisstachon 30
'merica
Murkyy 15
I'm not sure what the problem is.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Gollum likes it his way.
tbon3r 15
I guess its true what they say the real way to a man's heart is food. he obviously took this a little seriously :)
itsraquelponce 3
i dont see how this is an FML for you