Miscellaneous: Today, I sat on the kitchen counter in my boxers for ten minutes...

By lucas - 12/12/2011 06:38 - United States

Today, I sat on the kitchen counter in my boxers for ten minutes running my feet under hot water. Why? Because my dad thought it would be funny to superglue my feet together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 620

You deserved it 3 183

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Same thing different taste

By Lord Kane of Flatulon - 06/10/2015 11:13 - Australia - Warrnambool

Today, I found out my dad has been using the flip-flops I wear in the shower. The reason I wear them is to prevent myself from getting his nasty foot fungus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 911

You deserved it 1 677

By Niles - 20/03/2012 17:46 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 407

You deserved it 2 839

Control your guns

By Anonymous - 01/08/2022 04:00

Today, I dropped a box from my dad's attic and blew a hole in my foot. I now have 3 toes missing because dad forgot he once wrestled a gun away from some kid trying to steal his wallet, meant to give it to the police, but kept forgetting, and it wound up in the attic for 11 years until today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 316

You deserved it 137

By IAmACoolCat - 05/07/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 546

You deserved it 4 968

Footloose

By Mishti - 13/05/2018 15:00

Today, whilst on the toilet at the mall, I took my new designer sandals off as my feet were blistered. Not even a second later, a hand reached out from under the stall, grabbed my sandals and disappeared. I had to walk home a mile barefoot. In the burning heat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 242

You deserved it 1 642

By inalotofpain - 16/04/2011 12:46 - United States

Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 493

You deserved it 3 922

GHOSTS!

By Anonymous - 06/07/2021 05:01 - United States - Gladwyne

Today, my mother interrogated me about the duct tape, that I'd put on my foot for a wart, having fallen off. I tried to explain that my foot was just sweaty. She responded by arguing that the duct tape falling off was a "supernatural event". I really wish I could afford my own place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 94

By b.fritz - 24/09/2016 10:02 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 794

You deserved it 1 186

Move, bitch! Get out the way!

By FlatFoot - 05/10/2017 07:00 - United States - New York

Today, my dad ran over my foot with his work truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 956

You deserved it 325

By anonymous - 23/04/2013 21:07 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 438

You deserved it 5 518

lakaiskate 12

Monday 12 December 2011 15:56

Pay your mum to super glue his hand to his dick

baseballplaya5 7

Monday 12 December 2011 15:56

That's a sticky situation

Comments

btob143 6

Wednesday 3 December 2014 0:30

Gotta love dads ;]

subscript 15

Wednesday 29 July 2015 23:27

Asitone

TheShiningSlime 5

Sunday 2 August 2015 5:32

and you didn't notice wtf

randy98 11

Wednesday 12 August 2015 14:14

That sucks dude!! You should get back at him

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The Top

Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 381

You deserved it 20 508

Today, my boyfriend of two years called me on Skype while he was taking a crap. Think it's a sign that maybe we've been dating for too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 273

You deserved it 5 856

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Devastated, he withered onto the floor into an inconsolable wreck in front of dozens of people. The ribbon of embarrassment that went down my spine was too much for me to handle, so I had to tell him I was "only joking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 874

You deserved it 44 296

Today, as I was riding my bike, I saw a bunch of cute guys checking me out. Not paying attention, I then ran into a parked police car. Besides getting laughed at, I got a ticket for damaging police property. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 445

You deserved it 31 064

Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 741

You deserved it 42 698

Today, I wore my tightest, slightly too small, push-up bra and low cut top to impress a guy at work. He came over to borrow a pen. I leaned down to get one out of my bag and my nipple popped out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 2 006