Miscellaneous: Today, I sat on the kitchen counter in my boxers for ten minutes...

By lucas - 12/12/2011 06:38 - United States

Today, I sat on the kitchen counter in my boxers for ten minutes running my feet under hot water. Why? Because my dad thought it would be funny to superglue my feet together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 620

You deserved it 3 183

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Same thing different taste

By Lord Kane of Flatulon - 06/10/2015 11:13 - Australia - Warrnambool

Today, I found out my dad has been using the flip-flops I wear in the shower. The reason I wear them is to prevent myself from getting his nasty foot fungus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 911

You deserved it 1 677

By Niles - 20/03/2012 17:46 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 407

You deserved it 2 839

Control your guns

By Anonymous - 01/08/2022 04:00

Today, I dropped a box from my dad's attic and blew a hole in my foot. I now have 3 toes missing because dad forgot he once wrestled a gun away from some kid trying to steal his wallet, meant to give it to the police, but kept forgetting, and it wound up in the attic for 11 years until today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 316

You deserved it 137

By IAmACoolCat - 05/07/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 550

You deserved it 4 968

Footloose

By Mishti - 13/05/2018 15:00

Today, whilst on the toilet at the mall, I took my new designer sandals off as my feet were blistered. Not even a second later, a hand reached out from under the stall, grabbed my sandals and disappeared. I had to walk home a mile barefoot. In the burning heat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 242

You deserved it 1 643

By inalotofpain - 16/04/2011 12:46 - United States

Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 493

You deserved it 3 922

GHOSTS!

By Anonymous - 06/07/2021 05:01 - United States - Gladwyne

Today, my mother interrogated me about the duct tape, that I'd put on my foot for a wart, having fallen off. I tried to explain that my foot was just sweaty. She responded by arguing that the duct tape falling off was a "supernatural event". I really wish I could afford my own place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 94

By b.fritz - 24/09/2016 10:02 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 794

You deserved it 1 186

Move, bitch! Get out the way!

By FlatFoot - 05/10/2017 07:00 - United States - New York

Today, my dad ran over my foot with his work truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 956

You deserved it 325

By anonymous - 23/04/2013 21:07 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 438

You deserved it 5 518

lakaiskate 12

Monday 12 December 2011 15:56

Pay your mum to super glue his hand to his dick

baseballplaya5 7

Monday 12 December 2011 15:56

That's a sticky situation

Comments

FortuneCookie3 1

Tuesday 13 December 2011 23:39

Troll Dad strikes again.

CorpLaw77 3

Wednesday 14 December 2011 0:51

depending on what superglue, nail polish remover or rubbing alcohol works but if its gorilla glue you are just gonna have to rip skin

Jefzwang 4

Wednesday 14 December 2011 2:07

My question is how the hell you let him do that.

needsagf14 12

Wednesday 14 December 2011 6:07

But why were you in your boxers? Did he do it in your sleep

Rendrag 3

Wednesday 14 December 2011 8:23

Umm, water makes superglue set faster... Acetone is what you want..

west_sndrs 0

Wednesday 14 December 2011 15:10

Shower? Just saying

marissamay25 3

Wednesday 14 December 2011 19:31

Haha, at least your dad has a since of humor. He just take it out on you.

KaraP_fml 6

Wednesday 14 December 2011 23:18

That sucks!

carleymuffins 0

Thursday 15 December 2011 2:25

Lololol that would be funny :)

_unratedx 0

Thursday 15 December 2011 5:29

How did you walk to the kitchen and get on the counter when you don't have feet to walk? O_o that must have been complicated And must have hurt, fyl.

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