Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML

Today, my husband caught me scratching my armpit with his beard brush. Just last week I swore that I never touch it. FML

Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML

Today, my girlfriend came over to me, like she was going to kiss me, and instead rubbed her chin all over my face, exclaiming, "Can you feel my beard coming in?" Yes, yes I could. FML

Multiusage

Today, I noticed my girlfriend wiping her sweaty armpits with the small towel that I always use to wipe my face with after shaving. Now I know why the towel smells so bad. FML

Today, I have a rash all over my face because yesterday my boyfriend broke up with me. Apparently, I am allergic to the something in the tissues with which I was blowing my nose and wiping away my tears. FML

Twins

Today, my phone thought my armpit was my face. FML

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I noticed he looked uncomfortable. When I asked what was wrong, he asked when the last time I shaved was. I answered, "I shaved my legs this morning." He shook his head and said, "No, I meant your face." FML

Today, after recently breaking up with my boyfriend, I unknowingly washed my laundry using his washing tabs. My whole wardrobe now smells like my ex. FML

Creepy guy

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store. Before I knew what was happening, he'd sniffed me and started whimpering about how I don't smell like I used to. He does this kind of crazy shit all the time. FML