Love: Today, my husband caught me scratching my armpit with his beard... - FML

By Anonymous - 12/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband caught me scratching my armpit with his beard brush. Just last week I swore that I never touch it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 452

You deserved it 12 340

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Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/11/2011 03:51 - United States

Today, I rubbed my face in my armpit stubble because it felt like my ex-boyfriend's face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 196

You deserved it 51 055

By marisa - 05/01/2013 00:31 - Ireland - Carlow

Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 238

You deserved it 4 314

By Shane - 08/02/2011 07:58

Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 132

You deserved it 32 201

Gross idea

By Anonymous - 09/03/2012 00:30 - Canada

Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my fingernail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 823

You deserved it 2 952

By Anonymous - 19/02/2013 06:19 - United States - New Castle

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 192

You deserved it 55 565

By TheSneakyNugget - 24/04/2016 15:18 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I watched a large, sweaty woman stick a hairbrush down her shirt to scratch a rash on her back, before putting it back on the shelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 352

You deserved it 1 101

Inappropriate behavior

By start waxing - 23/07/2022 14:00

Today, for the third time, I had to tell my stepfather to stop using my razor. It seems when I told him last time that I use it on my armpits, that only encouraged the behaviour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 115

By Anonymous - 08/02/2010 06:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 755

You deserved it 8 984

Classic confusion

By Anonymous - 28/11/2023 05:00

Today, while I was shaving my nose started to itch. Guess which I shaved and which I itched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 184

Weird dude of the day

By Anonymous - 30/06/2017 02:00

Today, I caught my 29 year-old brother-in-law scratching his poison ivy with a handful of forks before putting them back in the drawer. I called him on it and he huffed, "You've never said anything before." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 910

You deserved it 365

Next

Top comments

leogachi 15

Sunday 12 February 2017 14:07

Why would you even do that?

EnvyMe33 26

Sunday 12 February 2017 14:19

Out of all the things to use to scratch your armpit, why the hell would you use that?!? How rude!!

Comments

WinterChild 20

Sunday 12 February 2017 14:04

Well aren't you just a scoundrel and a liar.

leogachi 15

Sunday 12 February 2017 14:07

Why would you even do that?

EnvyMe33 26

Sunday 12 February 2017 14:19

Out of all the things to use to scratch your armpit, why the hell would you use that?!? How rude!!

engineerosaurus 26

Sunday 12 February 2017 14:56

So now you're disgusting AND a liar. Kinda makes me wonder what else you lie about if you'll lie over something that small. I'm sure your husband wonders, too.

onceuponatime456 16

Sunday 12 February 2017 15:12

Why do you lie to your husband?

onceuponatime456 16

Sunday 12 February 2017 15:13

Why do you lie to your husband?

Nnzyb 8

Sunday 12 February 2017 15:45

One: That's gross. Have some respect for your husband as well as other people's property. Two: Now he might start wondering what else you were lying about.

MissPanda85 5

Sunday 12 February 2017 16:38

More like F his life

LyricaSilvan 29

Sunday 12 February 2017 20:20

Good job. Now you're on the fast track to him never trusting you again.

FightsBlankets 3

Sunday 12 February 2017 21:42

You're disgusting OP.

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I agree, your life sucks 23 475

You deserved it 1 427

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You deserved it 44 223

Today, I went to the OBGYN for my annual, and noticed they now supplied babywipes. After 3 seconds of "cleaning", the intense burning started. Turns out they were antibacterial bleach wipes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 052

You deserved it 32 406