Today, I received an email from an ex who I haven't heard from in two years. Excited that it might be her asking if we could meet up, I opened it. It was a virus. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I finally read an email I'd been avoiding. I thought it would be from my dad whom I haven't spoken to in years, and that he was checking on me during the pandemic. It turned out to be spam. The last contact I had with anyone related to my dad was one of his ex's friends, saying she was in jail and needed help. FML
Today, my ex, whom I haven't seen in two years, contacted me. She was great company back in the day, wild in bed, the most attractive person I've ever dated, and totally uninterested in a serious relationship. She wants me to fix her computer. FML
Today, my ex, who I'm still in love with, emailed me. I thought she changed her mind about us, so I poured my heart out to her. She just wanted to let me know she has chlamydia, and advise me to go to the clinic. FML
Today, I discovered my ex has been signing my email up for various newsletters. I knew I was getting a lot of spam, but didn't know why. It became apparent when one of these emails had his name in it. FML
Today, my wife’s ex-boyfriend sent me a message with a screenshot of her trying to get in touch with him. FML
Today, someone I used to know got in touch with me, after I hadn't heard from him in years. He insisted that we met up as soon as possible, and wanted me to go to his house that afternoon. I spent the afternoon repairing his computer. Since then, no news. FML
Today, my creepy, stalker ex-girlfriend was given an anonymous love letter. She's convinced it's from me. FML
Today, I received an email saying, "Thinking of you and hoping you are taking care." It was from the love of my life. We broke up 20 years ago. Previously, we had contact every 5+ years. It's just too late. FML
Today, I got spammed and bitched at by my ex-girlfriend from high school because she found out I didn't even have feelings for her. It was 3 years ago. FML
Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to my ex. This afternoon I notice that they had accepted, and had left a message for me in my inbox. Asking how they knew me. FML
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Top comments
_Damien_ 0
She gave you cyber herpes >.< that bitch!!
perdix 31
After two years of shoring around after she left you, you should be glad she didn't want to meet you. She could have given you a much worse virus then.
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Comments (169)
BoyBeyond 0
What a bitch seriously who still ***** with there ex after 2 years. Seriously it's been 2 years.
jammi 0
OH MY GOD, are you ******* kidding me? The EXACT sme thing happened to me TODAY! Now that's what I call a ****** up strange coincidence (The only difference was that i wasn't hoping for him to want to meet up, though). It's a crazy world.
itrey 0
thats a smart ex!
Erindub 0
: ( that sucks. None the less maybe you should call her.
JakeTheGr8 0
That was real mature of her.
drig 0
Bullshit. unless your email program I from the19902 you can't get a virus simply by opening an email. You probably downloaded the attachment like an idiot so YDI
ThatLooksSticky 16
Awww...I'm sorry! I know what's it like to want to hear from an ex.
MoobyTheCow 2
Congrats, you're the user computer viruses were designed for. Thanks from the rest of us.
davie1o1 0
Whatever dude stop lying. You were probably just watching porno and got the virus that way. LOL
TheComputerGuy96 16
As soon as the original poster said virus, I came to this classic but correct advice: DO NOT USE WINDOWS. BUY A MAC THAT RUNS MAC OS X. ...Or at least get a ******* antivirus, who doesn't have one?
XArmyof1x 6
you do know that since Microsoft owns majority of the market they will be targeted the most. if your advice was valid, and everyone were to listen, macs would own the market and then viruses for them. enjoy your fail
Anaxes 5
There's a reason that Mac's don't get as much malware. It's because of a thing called the market. Well, and process of elimination. Since Macs are such a piss poor minority, very few people would waste their time infecting such a pathetic piece of junk. There are only a few reasons that superior products contain a smaller market share: They've just come out (Apple made the first computer, so no) They're extremely expensive (Just because they're overpriced garbage doesn't mean they fit this category) The product is just piss poor and incompatible with what users desire (Bingo! Wanna play Crysis on a Mac? Sorry, but Apple is too busy looking for the nearest dick to suck to make their products even on par with their competitors) Most Mac users simply regurgitate absolute bullshit that is given to them by Apple. Fact: Macs can get malware, if you think otherwise you're just stupid and need sterilisation. Fact: Windows can run FAR MORE programs than your shitty OS X (What a ******* stupid name for an operating system. X. Can you get any more uninspiring?) Fact: Macs are overpriced. Since they can't do as much as a PC, they should cost less than a PC, but for whatever reason, they somehow cost more. Fact: Just because Apple wasted all their budget making the OS look pretty instead of making something that does something useful, doesn't make it worth the plastic the box is made of. Fact: ******* hell, stop touting your shitty Apple products. Whenever anyone posts anything relating to computers, some ******* retard will think "Oh my! I could advertise for my computer company because I need to justify my ******* useless purchase" Fact: Mac users just can't shut the **** up.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Lulz at Anaxes' last statement.
Canucksftw24 6
Did two people really read all of 127s comment to thumb it up?? Well good for them I guess