Time to get a lock

Today, I learned it's not safe to take a bath if my aunt is staying over, because apparently she was never taught the "Knock before you enter" rule if the bathroom door is closed. FML

Today, I knocked on the door of the bathroom to make sure nobody was in there before I walked in. Then I remembered I live alone. FML

Chill out, mom

Today, I got a knock on my door at 3 a.m. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough, she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML

Wankers of the world unite!

Today, I found out why teenage boys have "Keep out" and "Please knock" signs on their bedroom doors. FML

Today, since my parents always told me that I was welcome to come home whenever I want or need, I decided to stop by. They'd changed the locks and wouldn't let me in. FML

Not a night owl

Today, I woke up at the ungodly hour of 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom. It was of course quite dark, and unbeknownst to me, the door was closed. I walked into it. Then I tried to open it, missed the door knob, and walked into the door again. FML

Stealth mode failure

Today, someone knocked at my door. I saw it was my Mom, so I flattened myself against the door and tried to be as quiet as possible. I pulled my phone out and almost had silenced it before she called and heard the ringtone through the door. I had to invite her in and hear the usual "get married and have kids." FML

Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML

Fair warning

Today, I learned that even when you put a sock on the door because you are having sex with your boyfriend, it doesn't mean your mom won't walk into your brand new apartment for a "surprise visit." FML

Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriend's house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML