Miscellaneous: Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends... - FML

By rainydays79 - 23/01/2010 19:12 - United States

Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 431

You deserved it 60 036

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Same thing different taste

By Cheyenne - 11/07/2010 06:06 - United States

Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 302

You deserved it 3 700

Getting on

By Anonymous - 23/06/2020 17:01

Today, I’m at the stage of my life where a normal bowel movement is practically a cause for celebration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 435

You deserved it 142

By shroooms - 28/07/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 722

You deserved it 3 070

Eww, roommate from hell

By jill - 10/03/2021 05:01

Today, I discovered that when I sleep, I go to the bathroom to poop and don’t flush the toilet. I live with three roommates who all wake up before I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 330

Famous for something

By leaflady03 - 27/04/2021 00:30

Today, my mom won’t stop calling up all her friends and family and even telling complete strangers about my "bowel problems." Even at parties, she talks about my pooping habits every chance she gets. This isn’t what I want to be known for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 175

You deserved it 91

Phantom pooper

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 17:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 417

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 10:30 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 599

You deserved it 9 148

Anaconda

By lizbeth - 23/05/2021 04:01

Today, I took a massive shit and flushed the toilet, but it apparently didn’t flush properly. My mom then entered the bathroom, took a picture of my shit, and showed it to everyone she knows. She doesn’t understand why I’m embarrassed, and thinks that I should instead "take pride" in my giant poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 207

By public pooper - 25/04/2013 00:16 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 392

You deserved it 15 227

Alone

By shit - 30/05/2019 06:00

Today, I was in a public restroom trying to take a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself, "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard, "No you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 719

Next

Top comments

Seventytimeseven 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 23:09

Among your group of friends? You really think your soloness is exclusive to that group? I think you're probably just straight up alone there

intensitive 11

Saturday 23 January 2010 23:09

Do you cry after flushing away your friends?

Comments

pooter_stink 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 6:06

Mr. Hankey...LOL

Ingmundaro 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 6:09

Fake or creepy.

SumKid_fml 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 6:26

PUSH!! PUSH!!

CallMeHush 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 7:10

Dude, you are the only person I have ever heard of doing that. EVER! Not only that but how the hell does that subject come up in the course of even slightly twisted conversation? Beware of the men in the nice, white suits, they are coming to take you away.

yusaku02 20

Sunday 24 January 2010 8:16

that's pretty creepy

SubjectX 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 8:52

fake.

nodbor 11

Sunday 24 January 2010 9:17

I sure hope that your not into scrapbooking them.

sherryberry 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 9:18

you're the only one in the WORLD who does that!=S

lightburns 10

Sunday 24 January 2010 9:38

Not so #109! Me and my friends have a naming system. Spiky, ninja, hagrid, sticky.......

JoeBentley 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 10:19

I simply never understand people who post FMLs that are nothing more then things they do to themselves. You name your bowel movements and this fact disturbs you. THEN STOP NAMING THEM YOU BLITHERING MORON! What’s the big damn mystery? What part of this do you need to someone to spell out for you? The solution to the problem is inherent in the problem. I mean seriously WTF? Grow up and learn the difference between venting and whining you sad little sack of neurosis and stupid.

omgitsnikkie 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 13:23

Sooo i believe you should correct that from your group of friends to the whole world. wtf who names there poops what is this south park with Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo !?!?! LMFAO

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The Top

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 266

You deserved it 2 123

Today, I tried to nicely talk to my daughter about her rapid weight gain. Having a family history of weight-related illness, I felt it was necessary. I offered to get thyroid tests, teach her to buy healthy food, and start routine exercise. She told everyone I called her a cow and had fat-shamed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 192

The Top

Today, I bought a fake "wedding ring" at Target to play a prank on my parents. They kicked me out, saying my "fiancé" can take care of me now. There is no fiancé, and I just lost my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 112

You deserved it 43 052

Today, I learned the worst part about being dared to shave your ass hair: Stubble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 116

You deserved it 16 459

Today, an old lady asked me the way to the shopping mall. The shopping mall was not too far away, but I could see that the lady could barely walk so I offered to drive her there. She smacked my car's door into a pole while getting in my car. She didn't even notice that she'd done something wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 762

You deserved it 5 709

Today, on the crowded train, a cute guy called me over and told me to stand next to him because there were less people there. We started talking, but he left before I could get his number. Just when I was about to tell my friends about it, I find out that he stole my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 386

You deserved it 5 704

Today, one of my students corrected the problem I had solved on the board, explaining that you do multiplication before subtraction. I teach the second grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 307

You deserved it 54 634

Today, after a week of being tired and depressed, I realized my bottles for anti-depressants and muscle relaxants had gotten switched around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 665

You deserved it 1 487