Miscellaneous: Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends... - FML

By rainydays79 - 23/01/2010 19:12 - United States

Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 431

You deserved it 60 036

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Cheyenne - 11/07/2010 06:06 - United States

Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 302

You deserved it 3 700

Getting on

By Anonymous - 23/06/2020 17:01

Today, I’m at the stage of my life where a normal bowel movement is practically a cause for celebration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 435

You deserved it 142

By shroooms - 28/07/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 722

You deserved it 3 070

Eww, roommate from hell

By jill - 10/03/2021 05:01

Today, I discovered that when I sleep, I go to the bathroom to poop and don’t flush the toilet. I live with three roommates who all wake up before I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 330

Famous for something

By leaflady03 - 27/04/2021 00:30

Today, my mom won’t stop calling up all her friends and family and even telling complete strangers about my "bowel problems." Even at parties, she talks about my pooping habits every chance she gets. This isn’t what I want to be known for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 175

You deserved it 91

Phantom pooper

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 17:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 417

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 10:30 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 599

You deserved it 9 148

Anaconda

By lizbeth - 23/05/2021 04:01

Today, I took a massive shit and flushed the toilet, but it apparently didn’t flush properly. My mom then entered the bathroom, took a picture of my shit, and showed it to everyone she knows. She doesn’t understand why I’m embarrassed, and thinks that I should instead "take pride" in my giant poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 207

By public pooper - 25/04/2013 00:16 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 392

You deserved it 15 227

Alone

By shit - 30/05/2019 06:00

Today, I was in a public restroom trying to take a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself, "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard, "No you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 719

Next

Top comments

Seventytimeseven 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 23:09

Among your group of friends? You really think your soloness is exclusive to that group? I think you're probably just straight up alone there

intensitive 11

Saturday 23 January 2010 23:09

Do you cry after flushing away your friends?

Comments

bridgetoparadise 0

Monday 25 January 2010 19:10

i hate you

tdawgheath 0

Monday 25 January 2010 21:20

obviously fake. even if it's not, it's pretty personal anyway so no one ever has to even know...so your life isn't ******. what the hell happened to this site. no one even has a ****** up life anymore, it's all whiny bitches or guys trying to be gross. (OP fits into both)

StillFly07 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 1:39

How does that come into conversation? You should go make some more friends and stop being so lonely (:

blastvortex 3

Tuesday 26 January 2010 9:42

How many of them were named "John?"

missey_jey 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 1:18

so wait.... you honestly thought that some, if not most, of your friends did that? either you have really weird friends or your just really weird but its ok your not the first person iv heard of doing that, my dad not only names them but insists on showing me his poop if its in a ''cool shape''

Sersha88 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 10:26

Well, don't think of it that bad, when I'm around my friend's (after a fateful time of being sick) whenever someone had a "major" bowel movement, they say "I just Sersha'ed" ...... yeah, another bad part is my first name is John....

leadrunner751 3

Thursday 18 February 2010 8:52

they're do too, mine's Amanda

DukeSkidmark 0

Thursday 25 February 2010 18:44

Dont feel so bad not only do I name mine but I also weigh them. I weigh myself before and after I drop the deuce and the do some simple subtraction. My best is Gwendolyn she was 7.236 pounds

lovergirl7 1

Friday 12 March 2010 20:16

your a re- tard the hangover

tbonea1990 0

Friday 16 April 2010 8:11

that deserves a WTF not an FML

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The Top

Today, my mom has two workbenches in her basement. They are so cluttered, they have all but disappeared. Now that she’s actually building something, she just uses the chest freezer as a workbench. I’m hungry and my dinner is in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 92

Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that mine and her father's wedding is just a big joke, and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 054

You deserved it 3 116

The Top

Today, months after buying my first bass guitar and taking bass lessons using my own money, I realized that my parents refused to buy me an instrument, claiming that I sucked at it. What actually happened is that they didn't feel like paying for some "teenage bullshit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 868

You deserved it 163

Today, I sneezed and shit myself in bed. It was the first time I'd ever slept at my girlfriend's house, and probably the last as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 806

You deserved it 389

Today, and ever since we announced our pregnancy, my mother-in-law has invaded our home, taken over my hobby room, and tries to run our lives. I tried to go to the pub for a pint, one solitary pint, and she came and dragged me out by my ear, because "drinking is a sin", and I hadn’t done the dishes yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 241

You deserved it 290

Today, my dad showed up at my house and offered to take me to my favorite restaurant. He drove me to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. He believes I only had my daughter, who I love with all my heart, because I drunkenly hooked up with a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 108

Today, as I was building furniture at work, I managed to get my fingernails ripped off and the tips mauled while cutting the wood for a nightstand. As my I was getting bandaged, one of my bosses looked at me and simply asked, "Why'd you stop working?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 089

You deserved it 822

Today, my parents took away my laptop, TV, Xbox, and car all because I broke up with my girlfriend. They said when I patch things up with her, I can have my stuff back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 595

You deserved it 5 354