Today, I popped two tires hitting a curb. I called my dad hysterical, and he told me to call my mom and hung up. My mom's been dead for seven years. FML
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Today, I was hit by a car while riding my bike, so I called my dad for help. He blamed me for the accident, said he wasn't sure what I wanted him to do, and suggested I call my mom instead. She isn't picking up. FML
Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML
Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML
Today, I hit a car while trying to answer a phone call from my mom. I quickly answered the phone and shouted "What!?". To which she replied, "I just had a bad feeling in my gut about you so I wanted to make sure you were ok." FML
Today, my dad is such an asshole, he pulled out into traffic because he was too impatient to wait, which is how we ended up in the middle of a funeral for 5 miles, right behind the hearse. It was the funeral of a friend's dad and now I have 87 missed calls from her, and I’m too scared to answer. FML
Today, my phone made a random noise. I jokingly said, "Wow, I wonder who died now?" Turns out it was my son's grandmother. I had to explain it because I screamed. I also got to tell his dad that his mom just died. FML
Today, my mom came over to me and whispered something in my ear. I didn't hear it and assumed it was a joke, so I started laughing. Turns out my aunt died. FML
Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because apparently my mom hates him and doesn't want us to be together. My mom died six years ago. FML
Today, for some reason, my amazing dad told me to slide down towards a pole on a car tire while tobogganing down a hill and I hit the tire, consequently getting hurt in the head. I love my dad but something must've gone wrong that day. FML
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Top comments
unsun 13
Wtf is wrong with your dad?
justcommenting19 19
AAA is very helpful. Sorry that your dads an idiot.
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Comments (51)
laden_swallow09 35
Getting hysterical over a ******* flat tire? Ohhh, I'm sorry, TWO flat tires! You have a cell phone t call your father with; just call for a tow truck! Geez, getting upset over nothing...
deltax 8
He's still on denial
bapbap_fml 15
If you're responsible enough to drive, surely you must be able to call roadside assistance? If you popped two tires it's not likely you have two spares. Tow it to a shop because you're probably going to need new tires, rims, alignment and probably tie rods. That sucks, but I don't see why you'd be hysterical over it.
Witchylady 18
Your dad is a major drop kick. What a horrible person. Next time he needs your help. Toss him a quarter or two and tell him to call someone who gives a shit, cause you don't. You don't need that type of parental role model in your life. Ever.
KILJOY310 11
Should of texted back, tried that but mom has been dead for 7 years and won't answer.
militarybrat 21
Sounds like a knee jerk response. I would call him back.
superman21_fml 19
Bummer for you. Most dads would love being called hysterical.
that_guy31 12
that's ****** up
moxubaozi 1
So your spoiled self drives SO badly that you bust two tires on a curb (how??), you freak the **** out at your dad and you wonder why he has no patience for you when you won't even call the woman who helped raised you since your mother died mom? Like did you think you aren't transparent as hell? LOL
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Wow, you are assuming so many facts not in evidence. First there is no proof that dad has another wife who helped raise the OP since her mother died. That just you deciding that dad got remarried. Second, if the OP's mom died seven years prior then even if the OP's dad had remarried they would hardly have been married long enough to warrant the OP calling her mom. It is unlikely that the dad would have found someone instantly which means the longest possible amount of time (excluding cheating or an undisclosed divorce) that they would have been together is about 6 and a half years and at least part of that would have been the "testing the waters and dating" period. That amount of time hardly counts as time that the woman helping to raise anyone. She would have basically just existed in the periphery of the OP's life. All that is of course assuming that the OP's dad has another person they are banging, which they may not.
Vault_Boy 9
I don't want to be a grammar nazi, but I think a better way to word that would be,"called my dad in hysterics".