Today, I popped two tires hitting a curb. I called my dad hysterical, and he told me to call my mom and hung up. My mom's been dead for seven years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was hit by a car while riding my bike, so I called my dad for help. He blamed me for the accident, said he wasn't sure what I wanted him to do, and suggested I call my mom instead. She isn't picking up. FML
Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML
Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML
Today, I hit a car while trying to answer a phone call from my mom. I quickly answered the phone and shouted "What!?". To which she replied, "I just had a bad feeling in my gut about you so I wanted to make sure you were ok." FML
Today, my dad is such an asshole, he pulled out into traffic because he was too impatient to wait, which is how we ended up in the middle of a funeral for 5 miles, right behind the hearse. It was the funeral of a friend's dad and now I have 87 missed calls from her, and I’m too scared to answer. FML
Today, my phone made a random noise. I jokingly said, "Wow, I wonder who died now?" Turns out it was my son's grandmother. I had to explain it because I screamed. I also got to tell his dad that his mom just died. FML
Today, my mom came over to me and whispered something in my ear. I didn't hear it and assumed it was a joke, so I started laughing. Turns out my aunt died. FML
Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because apparently my mom hates him and doesn't want us to be together. My mom died six years ago. FML
Today, for some reason, my amazing dad told me to slide down towards a pole on a car tire while tobogganing down a hill and I hit the tire, consequently getting hurt in the head. I love my dad but something must've gone wrong that day. FML
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Top comments
unsun 13
Wtf is wrong with your dad?
justcommenting19 19
AAA is very helpful. Sorry that your dads an idiot.
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Comments (51)
Kaileigh 6
Not cool!
BlaqMontana 16
urrmmm why exactly would you call your dad for after you wrecked a car? are you 6 years old?
AndesFults 13
I read this at first and thought it said pooped..
Rababco 29
Am I the only one worried about OP's dad's possible mental state if he's asking OP to call their dead mother? OP's father's response seems pretty strange to me, like he forgot that OP's mother, who was probably also his wife, had died seven years ago. Maybe this is why it's an FML because OP realized that their father might have something mentally wrong with him. Of course, OP's dad could just be a major jerk who doesn't care about OP's problems and is reminding OP their mom is dead as some sort of sick joke, I don't know.
Konarika 11
Either your dad is a hysterical person or you simply don't know the difference between adjectives and adverbs.