Health: Today, I popped a pimple while stopped at a red light. When I...

By msarosi - 28/04/2013 10:28 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, I popped a pimple while stopped at a red light. When I looked over the woman in the car next to me was laughing, and had her camera phone out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 109

You deserved it 16 779

Health

You tried

Hiding from the drama

It's complicated

By Scared4Lf - 19/08/2016 18:10 - United States - Lamoure

Today, I was awoken by my grandparents making love, as they shook the camper in which my cousin and I were sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 823

You deserved it 1 511

By Anonymous - 23/04/2017 14:00

Today, the main cause of my recent boost in anxiety is in fact the amount of debt that going to a therapist in the first place has put me in. I guess he did help me find the main cause of my emotional issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 924

You deserved it 416

Wigging out

By Stacey Halvorson - 19/07/2021 04:01

Today, I was riding my bike on a sunny but windy afternoon. Coming up to an intersection, the wind switched directions and my wig blew off and landed in the middle of the road. At this point, I was almost at the other side but I had to turn around and grab my hair before the light turned green. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 280

By katiebug - 12/07/2016 02:27 - United States - Topeka

Today, I was trying to get a good night's sleep before the huge exam tomorrow, which I'm extremely anxious about. The SAME night my neighbor below me is having a home birth. It lasted NINE HOURS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 173

You deserved it 1 079

By Username - 27/05/2011 02:39

Today, I saw a firework show. In my kitchen. When my stove blew up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 027

You deserved it 4 426

Not so Karate Kid

By Matthew - 09/03/2020 19:00 - United States - Juneau

Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 311

By Anonymous - 13/01/2016 23:03 - United States - Alexandria

Today, my fiancé's mother gave me a beautiful cross necklace to wear for my wedding. I'm Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 116

You deserved it 2 487

By IamTheSalt - 25/04/2017 02:00

Today, I got my grades back. They were all 98's and 99's with also a 104 (extra-credit). I got refused from entering an honors club, because it's "impossible to get above a hundred in a math class". I even got investigated for cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 046

You deserved it 369

By Anonymous - 09/08/2014 17:32 - United States - Amherst

Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 276

You deserved it 13 868

By Cow_girl_cutie - 03/08/2011 07:47 - United States

Today, I was texting my boyfriend. He continued to tell me how he had to piss. We carried on this conversation for about 10 minutes, then I realized that was the most interesting conversation I have had with him in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 317

You deserved it 6 233

Pagans!

By Depressed Ghost - 01/11/2021 14:00

Today, it's the Halloween after my wife and I moved into a predominantly Muslim neighborhood. We waited for three hours with a big bowl of Snickers, before the restaurant owner downstairs told us no one would come because Muslims don’t celebrate Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 784

By Anonymous - 06/12/2010 10:37 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by sending me a text. She was sitting right beside me on a 10 hour car trip, and there was still 6 more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 275

You deserved it 3 155

By militarywife2b - 14/12/2009 20:23 - France

Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch". I had to wash his plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 670

You deserved it 2 166

Don't dead open inside

By that’s not how this works! - 09/08/2021 23:01 - United States - Hesperia

Today, my mom went on a rant about how insulin and other diabetic medications are evil western poisons, and that she can control her condition naturally on her own. That would be great, if she actually ate right and exercised instead of just using meditation to “think” herself healthy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 65

Slasher

By Anonymous - 09/09/2013 17:44 - United States - Sylvania

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 869

You deserved it 5 922

By Whatswrongwithme? - 03/11/2013 09:57 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my girlfriend I loved her. She left and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 703

You deserved it 5 709

Between a rock and a hard place

By Anonymous - 12/01/2022 22:59

Today, my mom wanted to kick me out of the house, but she has a brain tumor and can’t be left alone. I want to leave this place, but I can’t leave her. I’m ready to quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 64

Summer's here and the time is right…

By Anonymous - 26/06/2021 18:30

Today, I was on my way to work and wearing a tank top when I suddenly walked through 10 feet of sprinklers and got completely soaked. A cop flagged me down in front of a bunch of people, because apparently I matched the description of a "suspect". He stared at my boobs the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 150

By Klepto - 15/11/2009 17:34 - United States

Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to the guy who had the party I was at last night. I immediately realized, however, that my new profile picture is of me, smiling and holding the trophy I stole from his house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 282

You deserved it 73 097

By fml9124 - 31/08/2019 22:00

Today, it's our 32nd wedding anniversary. Two weeks ago I caught a cold on an airplane. Since I got back, she hasn't kissed or let me touch her. I'm still coughing. She says maybe it's not a cold, maybe it's TB. She's left to stay in a hotel until I get better or die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 703

You deserved it 155

By Nic - 22/07/2010 16:46 - United States

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 751

You deserved it 45 615

Daddy's girl

By TooMuchForToLittle - 06/09/2021 11:00

Today, yet again, my 3 year-old daughter came home from a few hours with her father, screams and cries over everything, and when she realizes it won't get her anywhere, screams at me that she hates me and that she wants to go home. I calmly told her she is home, and she screamed, "This is not home!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 120

By Anonymous - 19/10/2013 18:48 - Belize - Belize City

Today, I finally found a place to stay after being kicked out by my parents. The psycho owner waited till now to tell me that my bathroom door will remain locked at all times, and that whenever I want to go in there, I have to ask him to unlock it, then do my business while he waits outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 662

You deserved it 3 648

By condiments - 22/02/2010 21:13 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 044

You deserved it 3 037

By postop - 26/06/2015 03:06 - United States - Far Rockaway

Today, I woke up to my mother telling me to sit up and get dressed because we had to go before it was too late. I just woke up from surgery. She didn't want to be stuck in traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 770

You deserved it 2 021

Tattoos are for life

By Anonymous - 08/10/2021 11:01

Today, my husband cried more at the funeral of his tattoo artist than he did at his grandmother's funeral. Seriously, at the artist's funeral, he was crying; at his grandmother's, he kept checking the time on his phone and yawning. What man did I marry? FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 298

By Loser - 04/05/2009 20:15 - Canada

Today, I decided to modify my resume since I've handed out over 30 of them in the past couple of weeks and I haven't gotten any calls back. As soon as I opened it on word document, I noticed that I had forgotten to include my phone number for employers to contact me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 402

You deserved it 73 983

Higher standards

By Anonymous - 10/07/2020 02:02

Today, my mom fought with me again for missing an "important" 4th of July family barbecue. I was working until the morning, finishing grad school applications. There are always family events, and also apparently my brother missing the same barbecue to party with friends is perfectly fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 601

You deserved it 117

The Cheek!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, on my Facebook, the stripper my ex-husband cheated on me with showed up in the "People You May Know" box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 716

You deserved it 4 405

News to me

By Anonymous - 29/11/2021 14:01

Today, I checked my mom's email to track a package I'm waiting to receive. Instead, I found out my mom canceled the order, and that my parents are getting a divorce and have been fighting via email for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 135

By Doy - 19/12/2011 06:31 - Canada

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't know what I was going to do over the Christmas holidays since he was going to be out of the country. He suggested that I work out and do some sit-ups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 471

You deserved it 8 529

Ouch

By Roses are Red - 07/03/2013 06:07 - United States - Ridgeland

Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 488

You deserved it 13 270

By Co-B - 03/09/2009 20:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 833

You deserved it 60 737

By Saphira - 11/11/2009 06:43 - United States

Today, my dad's girlfriend threw me a birthday party and all the gifts, decorations, and the cake were according to my age, which they thought was 12. I turned 13 today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 184

You deserved it 8 049

By stickyickystone - 21/07/2019 14:12

Today, I got my hand caught in a belt sander while sanding down what was supposed to become a "Caution" sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 573

You deserved it 340

Blackmail material

By Anonymous - 03/01/2021 05:01

Today, I was staying at a hotel and had a night terror. I woke up, yelled, "Fuck!" and realized I had shit the bed. I'd woken up my teenage daughter, who now knows I shit the bed in the middle night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 162

A Dog's Love = Priceless

By Sudokori - 29/08/2017 20:00

Today, I bought a lottery ticket. Two hours ago, I found out that the ticket was worth $100. Five minutes ago, I found my dog eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 319

You deserved it 625

By Agata - 21/12/2009 16:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years announced that he is not ready for marriage, and won’t be for 'at least' another 2 years. Of course he waited to tell me this 2 days after he had proposed to me in front of hundreds of people, I said yes, and we announced it to all our family members and friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 147

You deserved it 2 852

By left alone - 29/08/2016 12:46 - United States - Schenectady

Today, the client that hired us for cleaning cancelled her contract because I was seen "holding a broom backwards." I'm left-handed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 374

You deserved it 932

By Japaroni - 15/09/2011 07:42 - United States

Today, I went out on my back patio at night to skinny dip. I live on the intracoastal, and as I was walking towards my pool, the police were doing a random search. From a boat with a spotlight. At least their whistles told me they liked the birthday suit I had on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 858

You deserved it 9 320

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Top comments

slidetotheleft 9

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Sunday 28 April 2013 16:44

What's her problem...jeez

Ambient25 24

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Sunday 28 April 2013 16:45

You must have had a HUGE, Osmosis Jones style pimple to elicit that reaction....

slidetotheleft 9

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Sunday 28 April 2013 16:44

What's her problem...jeez

Damian95 16

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Sunday 28 April 2013 17:53

That lady was either really bored, or really stupid.

londoner86 13

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Sunday 28 April 2013 18:51

ok OP, you know what you call a place surrounded by windows? PUBLIC. Expect to be watched. But this woman does sound a bit over-excitable...

Ki11erC 18

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Sunday 28 April 2013 19:07

37 - so if its not surrounded by windows its not public?

mb2_native 15

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Sunday 28 April 2013 19:34

37, Does that mean an apple store isn't public since it doesn't have windows?

plum_lovin 28

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Sunday 28 April 2013 22:50

Seriously? I have seen dirty old guys picking their nose in their cars like nobody's business. While I was in a car with a friend of mine, a creepy Mexican guy (not being racist, just making a description) stared at me while at the stop light non stop, then as soon as we drove off he started making kissy faces at me... trust me there are worse things out there and who gives a crap about that whack job lady.

jessi_sunshine 26

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Monday 29 April 2013 6:27

55 - Mexican implies being born in Mexico. Hispanic would have been a more apt description unless you were, in fact, in Mexico.

toastedjellybowl 7

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Wednesday 8 May 2013 17:14

Not sure of trolling or incredibly stupid. It was entertaining nevertheless.

Toasty283 8

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Wednesday 14 August 2013 2:29

Just hope you didn't become an Internet meme

Ambient25 24

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Sunday 28 April 2013 16:45

You must have had a HUGE, Osmosis Jones style pimple to elicit that reaction....

ScenicSubterfuge 39

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Sunday 28 April 2013 17:24

Haha, I loved that show!!

Ambient25 24

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Sunday 28 April 2013 17:49

movie....

cristy91 33

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Sunday 28 April 2013 18:12

In #24's defense, the movie was turned into a TV show

Ambient25 24

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Sunday 28 April 2013 18:27

That's weird...but then again Aladdin was turned into a TV show too....

Cartera 10

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Sunday 28 April 2013 19:10

Ozzy and Drix was my favorite show as a kid.

flaca273 7

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Sunday 28 April 2013 20:21

After the movie it became a show later on

dalink 24

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Sunday 28 April 2013 20:54

Next time draw a face on it and call it Pustulio. Hypnotize the weaker minds into obeying you... Like throwing their camera phones into traffic.

iSmellMusic 8

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Monday 29 April 2013 7:30

51 - I think that may only work with Irken pimples.

becca717 7

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Tuesday 30 April 2013 4:56

Invader Zim was my favorite show ever. XD

noobsatin 19

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Sunday 28 April 2013 16:45

that's why you don't do that in public, unless you're being discreet about it, then do it.

RoseBlack123 37

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Sunday 28 April 2013 17:22

Um OP was doing that in the car which is private enough to POP A PIMPLE... it's not like OP was having sex or something

Zebediabolical 39

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Sunday 28 April 2013 18:56

Apparently it's not private enough. Now it's time to go to youtube to see if I can find the video!

matticus27 14

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Sunday 28 April 2013 16:45

It happens to the best of us

nicolemadden 11

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Sunday 28 April 2013 16:56

Sometimes it's better not to try to understand some people :D.

ElatedEarthling 15

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Sunday 28 April 2013 16:49

It sounds like you need to burst her bubble and let her know that pimple popping is normal. There's no need to get all swollen and puss-- I mean fuss about it. Pore you, because now your private car activities are no longer safe. Why not try to break out of that habit?

livelobster123 14

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Thursday 23 May 2013 8:39

#5, You used up all the good puns.. :(

Zen_Mei 17

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Sunday 28 April 2013 16:50

She obviously has issues if she's laughing hysterically at you popping a pimple

bReLiNg 18

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Sunday 28 April 2013 16:54

Big brother is watching you!

Ambient25 24

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Sunday 28 April 2013 16:59

Yes the Government got wind of her waking up, swung a satellite, tracked her movement, grouped 4 men to tail her and dressed one up as a chick to pull up next to her and snap pics just as she was going to pop that pimple. Boom, job well done. I feel safer.

dectivebobby 6

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Sunday 28 April 2013 16:54

She must live a very boring life if she finds pimple popping that hilarious

dRUMsKELETON 12

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Sunday 28 April 2013 16:57

That's the issue with there being so little privacy with all these cameras anymore. Then again, you may want to do that in the privacy of your own home next time :P