Today, I painted the guest bathroom. Once finished, I noticed the paint splatters on my arms matched my lily white chalky skin. Paint matches me better than my makeup. Guess I need a different paint, and new make up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I painted my daughter's room with the new paint we bought. It's an oil-based paint which hides all blemishes on the wall, but apparently makes me sick. I'm now throwing up everywhere, but at least the room looks good. FML
Today, I spent the afternoon painting my bedroom and was really pleased with how it turned out. When I moved the furniture back, I noticed a large patch behind the wardrobe I'd missed. The paint shop had closed, and I had no idea which shade I'd used. FML
Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML
Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML
Today, I started to paint the top of a piece of furniture. My husband had painted the sides a few months ago. I sanded/prepped. He went to buy the paint he had used. I was half done when I stepped back and saw that the colors didn't match. He forgot what he used, so he bought whatever, and "thought it would be OK." FML
Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML
Today, I was painting cabinets for the children's area in my church. While painting, I dropped my brush and got black paint on a white part. I tried to wipe it off. Now there's a very visible smudge that looks like a penis. FML
Today, I went on a first date wearing a new hair color. It was Interior Latex Slate Speckled Grey, from accidentally leaning my head against a wall while house painting earlier. FML
Today, I had to be treated for chemical burns, because my mother got the bright idea of using paint thinner to clean me up after I'd painted our living room. FML
Today, I was painting the bathroom door post. A drop of paint fell on the toilet roll. Guess how I found out. FML
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Top comments
Misoranomegami 16
My boyfriend jokes that I need 'Casper' since 'porcelain' and 'ivory' are too dark for me. Mac has a whole set of ultra pale they developed for the Irish market that matches me pretty well. I'm by no means the palist person I know though. There are lighter shades out there if you research them.
morningmonster 18
At least you can now win at Hide and Seek
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Comments (12)
Taolan 23
This is so first-world problem that it doesn't really count as a true "FML"... but it's grammatically correct so I can't complain too much.
RosesThorn17 7
Ik the feeling op. Even the "porcelain" shade of makeup foundation/concealer is way too dark for my skin. I'm begging to think I may be a vampire. You could be too. Fancy starting a clan?